The Queen B

Here We Go

My daughter began her senior year of high school this week.  

My only daughter.  

My only child.

Years ago, I blogged about having one child.  I remember writing about how her graduation would render us empty nesters. That seemed so far away.

IT WASN'T.

I am just beginning to process what it means and how it feels.  Here's what I know so far:

I want to be present every second.  I want to savor this year.

I want to be joyful. Does anyone want to be around a miserable mother all year?  I think not.  

I want to be grateful. There are so many parents who would love to be sitting in my seat.  My happy & healthy daughter leaving home to go to college is not a tragedy.  It is a blessing.  

I want to continue building my marriage. It would be super easy to focus on her to the extreme this year.  I want to plan & look forward to the years ahead with my guy.

I do not want my daughter to feel guilt. She is doing what we prayed for her to do and raised her to do.  To make this year all about my sadness would be a disservice to her.

There is a lot of change on the horizon.  For her and for me.  I can't stop it from happening, but I can choose how I handle it.  

(Also.  Remind me of this next May.)

Here's to a great year.

Oh The Things I Never Knew

Being the mom of a girl certainly has its share of drama.

The ups. The downs. The tears. The sass. The stomping.

Oh the stomping.

I've always assumed being the mom of a boy is much easier.

(The exceptions being broken bones, more laundry and gross smells.)

Well. I ran errands with my 6 year old nephew, JJ, for a few hours today.

Just me and him.

Running errands.

Errands that The Princess and I run weekly.

And quickly.

This is how it went down...

We got into the car.

And he was starving and thirsty.

I have to remind The Princess to eat. Not that she doesn't eat--she only eats when she's hungry. (I know. Crazy girl.)

Well, apparently JJ was hungry 30 minutes after lunch.

We got a snack and a grape slush and headed to the Post Office.

Car conversation:

JJ: "Aunt B?" (This is literally how my nephews refer to me.) "Do you think I'm really big?"

Aunt B: "You know, JJ, I was just thinking about how big you are getting."

JJ: "I could probably really beat up The Princess."

Well then.

We arrived at the Post Office. I never knew the Post Office has so many buttons. And levers. And swinging doors. And machines. And a fire extinguisher. And a corner perfect for a somersault.

I know that now.

Off to Target.

Car conversation:

JJ: "Aunt B? Do people ever just call you plain B?"

Aunt B: "Yes, JJ. Some people just call me plain B."

JJ: "I think I am going to call you Aunt B sometimes and just plain B sometimes."

Well then.

We arrived at Target.

JJ: "Aunt B? There are a few things I've been needing at Target."

Sucker Aunt B: "Like what, JJ?"

JJ: "Well. A card for my mama and a new Nintendo game."

We headed to the cards. I was picking a get well card for poor Amy. So JJ found a get well card for poor Amy, too. And a get well card for his (healthy) mom.

We then made our way to the video games. And if any of you happen to live in Arkansas and were almost plowed down by a 6 year old pushing a cart with his wacky Aunt B running behind him, well, it wasn't us.

JJ picked a video game. I don't know what it was. It was rated E for Everyone.

JJ then had to go to the bathroom. And he was not going to be able to hold it. So we made our way to the family bathroom by the pharmacy. And it was locked.

Again, if any of you were in Target in Arkansas yesterday and were incessantly harassed by the shaking of the bathroom door while you were doing your business, I can't imagine who that might have been.

JJ went in the bathroom. And then he came out and said, "Aunt B? I pushed that button on the wall. I'm not sure what it is for."

If any of you happen to work at Target in Arkansas and were unnecessarily called to clean up a clean bathroom yesterday...I feel for you. Some people are so rude.

So we went to get some paper towels. Which unfortunately happen to be right across from the toys.

JJ: "Aunt B? I really need this Star Wars town thing."

Aunt B (gaining strength): "No, JJ. We aren't getting the Star Wars city."

JJ: "Ok. But I need it."

I held my ground.

But then he needed some milk. Chocolate milk, to be exact.

So he picked some strawberry milk and put it in the basket.

I thought it was probably a good time to head to the check out.

JJ looked at the cashier's name on his tag.

JJ: "So is your name really Jeff?"

Not very friendly Jeff: "Yes."

JJ: "I like that name. Do you like working at Target?"

Less friendly Jeff: "Sure."

I swiped my credit card and began to sign my name.

JJ: "Aunt B? Are you writing in cursive?"

Aunt B: "Yes, JJ. You will learn cursive really soon."

JJ: "Jeff! Aunt B can write in cursive!"

Pretty close to hateful Jeff: "Great."

We got back into the car.

My car has a push button ignition and no key. Which still freaks me out just a little bit. JJ had not seen it before.

JJ: "Aunt B?"

Aunt B: "Yes, JJ?"

JJ: "Does your car just start with the push of a button?"

Aunt B: "Yes."

JJ: "Well then I can drive your car!"

Well then.

JJ and I headed back to the house.

JJ: "Aunt B? Can I live with you?"

Aunt B: "Oh, JJ. Your mom would miss you so much."

JJ: "But I got her a card."

JJ went back to his mom. I collapsed onto the couch and said a prayer of thanksgiving for the silence.

And smiled as I thought of our day.

I Gotta Get Me Some Baskets & Bins

I really, really need things to be in their place.

Especially toys.

I am a firm believer in the put-something-away-before-you-get-something-else-out method of play.

It is a good thing that I have one child.

I know that is what you are thinking.

Anyway, I have been planning on participating in Organizing Junkie's Monthly Organizing Round-Up.

For, like, the last five months.

But I've still got time to join in for June's Playroom Challenge.

We use an extra bedroom for The Princess' playroom. It is actually the largest bedroom in our home, but it is the only downstairs bedroom. We wanted to have everyone sleeping on the same floor, so it worked out perfectly.

Since we didn't use the clothing rod in the closet, we added shelving. My goal was to create a place for all her junk toys so that the playroom floor could remain uncluttered.

This is a look into her closet.

The shelves that are straight ahead were already there. We added the shelving on either side.

The basket on the lower shelf holds her dolls and their accessories.

Her magazines, sticker books and coloring books are in the white magazine holders.

The green baskets hold art supplies, Littlest Pet Shop things, Polly Pockets, etc.

We left a space for her toy box. It holds sports equipment and big stuff that won't fit anywhere else. Little boxes and baskets are handy for smaller things. Note that one of those holds her band-aid collection. When The Princess was little, she said she was going to open a band-aid store when she grew up. Made sense to me...

I love big tubs for her dollhouse furniture. We also keep a big tub of toys for little kids to play with when they come to visit.

We call it Operation Distract and Entertain.

I had an old piece of furniture that we painted silver to hold her movies and video games. We added new knobs--that now strangely remind me of that bra Madonna wore--and it looks like a brand new piece of furniture. Um. Pretend that those knobs are totally level.

Here's a few shots of the rest of the room.

I love these bookshelves. The back of the shelves are mirrored, which adds a little sparkle to the room.

And no, we did not buy The Princess a flat screen TV. The King moved his TV in her room for the ultimate video game experience.

His. Not hers.

The bulletin board behind the TV would be easy to make. A frame, some fabric and a little ribbon.

These swirls were painted by a friend. I love what they add to the room.

We found a "chandelier" in the sale area of a lighting store to add a little glam to the room.

I love to find ways to use older furniture or inexpensive furniture for a child's room. There is so much that a little paint, mirrors and fabric can do!!

Oh. And remember how I said the goal was to keep the floor uncluttered? Well imagine how it would look without the baskets...

The organizing is still a work in progress, but it is nice to know that it is working. Creating a spot for most of her items really encourages her to put things back. It also cuts down on the, "MOM!! I can't find my stuff!!"

And that is worth almost every penny.

Love Lessons

Y'all, I have just been so sad about Tim Russert's death. I was a fan. I thought he was a very fair reporter and in this day that is hard to find.

I was completely impressed by Matt Lauer's interview with his son, Luke, on the Today Show yesterday.

What an amazing kid. He was so incredibly poised and well-spoken.

The King thought that I was a little looney for crying, but the interview really did me in.

At one point Luke Russert said that there was not a day that went by that he didn't know that he was loved by his father. And he said he was eternally grateful for that.

Wow. Can our children say that about us? Does my daughter know that I love her? In the depths of her soul, does she know that I truly love her?

I think she does. For now. But what about after we go through the teenage years? Will she still know? After she goes to college? Will she know? After her heart has been broken? Will she know that I love her?

I want to be that kind of parent. Not always her favorite person, but always the one that loves her and has her back.

Luke Russert also said that he talked to his dad 2 or 3 times a day. And now that I think about it, several of his friends that have been interviewed said that they talked to Tim 2 or 3 times a day.

I'm fairly certain that Mr. Russert was pretty busy. Just like all of us are pretty busy. Yet he made time for his friends. Daily. Do I do that? Not so much. If my friends happen to catch me on a busy day...look out!! They probably regret the call.

Why is it that the things with no eternal significance take up the majority of our time? Why do we get so wrapped up in the minutia of daily life?

I want to be the type of wife, mom and friend that makes time for the ones that I love. I want my people to always know that I will stop whatever I'm doing for them. For that to happen, I'll have to actually do it. I'll have to make time for them. I'll have to stop whatever I'm doing.

Easier said than done.

I don't want to be known for my clean house or my organized pantry.

Well. I kind of do. But only a little.

I want to be one who loves fully.

So I'm gonna work on that.

Follow The Leader

Our church is doing a series of sermons about the family.

A few points struck me yesterday that I thought I would pass along. Some I had heard before. Well. Maybe I hadn't really heard them.

Not that you need parenting advice. I know that you are all perfect parents with perfect kids, but I have quite a bit of work to do.

*Exhibit the behavior that you expect. Ok. That is big. If I don't want to live with screaming and whining and complaining, perhaps I ought not do it. It doesn't really seem like a breakthrough idea. Yet I consistently do those things that I can't stand to see in my daughter.

*The first few years kids do what you say. The rest of the time they do what you do. Oh. So that's why I often think, "My daughter was so obedient and sweet when she was younger". MmmmHmmm. That's before I warped her, apparently.

*Who we are speaks louder than who we say we are. Does it ever. Telling myself I am a good mom or a good wife is not really going to cut it. I am going to have to actually be a good mom and good wife. The same can be said for saying I'm skinny.

*A parent doesn't always have to have the last word. I don't really like that one. At all. No, I don't. Really. I mean, not one bit. Ok? Because I don't. I hope you understand that I don't like it. Got it?

*Know when to speak and when to listen. If it was possible to talk a kid into doing what I want, then I would have a girl robot. As The Princess is getting older, I can tell that listening is going to get me waaay more respect.

*Offer advice to your grown children only when asked. QM? Are you there?

I really want to be an effective parent. I want my daughter to be an incredible woman. I want to have a great relationship with her.

And I'm not sure that being an effective parent will always mean that I'll have a great relationship with her.

I pray that it does, but I don't know if those two can always run parallel. If I am to do the job that God has so graciously given to me, then the shaping of her character is much more important than if she thinks I'm the bomb.

I just said "the bomb".

I think that was over, like, 5 years ago.

Which is another reason why she may not always want to hang with me.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and/or any words of wisdom that you'd like to share.