Just When I Needed It The Most

We leave for Guatemala one week from today.

OH MY WORD.

I was almost sort of getting comfy with it.

Emphasis on the almost.

Guess what popped up on the orphanage website yesterday?

The founders were driving in town and a car pulled up behind them and began firing automatic weapons.

Yep.

Shook me right out of my happy place.

Thankfully, they were ok.  The bad guys were targeting a car that was behind them.

But still.  NOT A LOT OF DIFFERENCE THERE.

FREAKING OUT.

When I got home, I checked my mail and found a little card from a lady at my church.  Inside the card was a crocheted cross.

Let me share a bit of what the card said:

I want you to know I have been where you are and know exactly how you feel.  I am praying for you and your family.  Every time I think of the trip I will pray for you.  

This cross was given to me at my Walk to Emmaus.  Many prayers and much love surround this cross.  I always knew that I would know exactly the time God wanted me to give it away...

She has had that cross for over three years.  

I cannot tell you how much her sweet gesture meant to me.  Just when I was at my most worried and most anxious, God comforted me through her.  He reminded me that He will be with me.  He reminded me that He knows when I'm struggling.

You know how I wanted to be excited and looking forward to the trip?  

Probably not gonna happen.

I am simply going out of obedience.  

That's all.  

Nothing more.

I wish I could say that I have a great desire to save the children or touch the hurting or love the needy.

Maybe I will before this is all said and done.  

Maybe I won't.

But God knows that.

I may have a wonderful time or I may be counting the hours until I'm home.

Either way is fine.  

I have prayed that if I am not to go, something will occur that will absolutely keep me from going.  

(Automatic weapons totally qualified in my book.  Not so much in The King's.)

Likewise, I have prayed that if I am to go, I will go with confidence.

I don't think that God always expects us to do His will with a smile.  He knows there are times that we are barely able to surrender to Him.

But He does expect us to surrender to Him.

Even if our eyes are squeezed shut and our hearts are pounding.

I may immediately know why I've gone on this trip or I may never know why.

But I rest in the knowledge that He knows.

In this week leading up to our departure, I would like to ask for prayer for a few specific things.  Rather than throw a list at you, I think I'll just share something that is on my heart each day.

Please pray for our safety.  The fact that I am taking my daughter into a potentially dangerous country is not something that I take lightly.  I pray His protection on each person on this trip.  (There are 33 people taking this trip.  13 of these are kids!)

I cannot tell you how much your emails and comments and prayers have already meant to me.  I am amazed at your wisdom and encouragement.

Thank you.

Comments

[Jennifer]

Wow. That cross story made me tear up! Seriously... that WAS/IS God's sign. I just know it.

Sending prayers!
Jen

[Lindsay]

oooo such a sweet gesture. You have a bunch of prayers being said for you. Good for you on acting on what you know God wants you to do. That is usually the hardest part and God will use this trip in a big way. ((HUGS))

[Shannon]

Praying and praying!

[Brooke]

my prayers for you during the this time of obedience.