Just When I Needed It The Most

We leave for Guatemala one week from today.

OH MY WORD.

I was almost sort of getting comfy with it.

Emphasis on the almost.

Guess what popped up on the orphanage website yesterday?

The founders were driving in town and a car pulled up behind them and began firing automatic weapons.

Yep.

Shook me right out of my happy place.

Thankfully, they were ok.  The bad guys were targeting a car that was behind them.

But still.  NOT A LOT OF DIFFERENCE THERE.

FREAKING OUT.

When I got home, I checked my mail and found a little card from a lady at my church.  Inside the card was a crocheted cross.

Let me share a bit of what the card said:

I want you to know I have been where you are and know exactly how you feel.  I am praying for you and your family.  Every time I think of the trip I will pray for you.  

This cross was given to me at my Walk to Emmaus.  Many prayers and much love surround this cross.  I always knew that I would know exactly the time God wanted me to give it away...

She has had that cross for over three years.  

I cannot tell you how much her sweet gesture meant to me.  Just when I was at my most worried and most anxious, God comforted me through her.  He reminded me that He will be with me.  He reminded me that He knows when I'm struggling.

You know how I wanted to be excited and looking forward to the trip?  

Probably not gonna happen.

I am simply going out of obedience.  

That's all.  

Nothing more.

I wish I could say that I have a great desire to save the children or touch the hurting or love the needy.

Maybe I will before this is all said and done.  

Maybe I won't.

But God knows that.

I may have a wonderful time or I may be counting the hours until I'm home.

Either way is fine.  

I have prayed that if I am not to go, something will occur that will absolutely keep me from going.  

(Automatic weapons totally qualified in my book.  Not so much in The King's.)

Likewise, I have prayed that if I am to go, I will go with confidence.

I don't think that God always expects us to do His will with a smile.  He knows there are times that we are barely able to surrender to Him.

But He does expect us to surrender to Him.

Even if our eyes are squeezed shut and our hearts are pounding.

I may immediately know why I've gone on this trip or I may never know why.

But I rest in the knowledge that He knows.

In this week leading up to our departure, I would like to ask for prayer for a few specific things.  Rather than throw a list at you, I think I'll just share something that is on my heart each day.

Please pray for our safety.  The fact that I am taking my daughter into a potentially dangerous country is not something that I take lightly.  I pray His protection on each person on this trip.  (There are 33 people taking this trip.  13 of these are kids!)

I cannot tell you how much your emails and comments and prayers have already meant to me.  I am amazed at your wisdom and encouragement.

Thank you.

Comments

[Joy Gross]

I will be praying for you (everyone).. I truly understand how you are feeling.. Hugs

[Capri Kel]

God does require our obedience, and blessings follow when we obey.

Keep your eyes open for "God Things", can't wait to hear all about them when you return!

[Kellyn]

Each time I think of this trip I am praying for you and all that are going on this trip. Be safe!

[Just me]

Wishing you a safe and *fulfilling* trip. I hope you will have an amazing experience and come home feeling like it was totally worth it!!!

[rrmama]

You know I will be praying for you and your family the entire time you are gone. And you are right God will get you through it.

[Robyn (3girlsmom)]

Girl, I am PRAYING.
My dad's church (he's the pastor) is taking a trip in November to the Holy Land. The trip is being led by a Messianic Jew who is a native Israeli. Mom & Dad are definitely going. My brother and his fiancee are maybes. My Dad is INSISTING that my husband and I go. However, I have told him no. I'm terrified about the instability over there. I'm more terrified, though, about my husband AND I going and leaving my 3 babies here. I'm trying to convince him that this trip is something that I'd like to do after my kids are grown. He's not going for it. Would appreciate prayers on that one, if you don't mind.
Oh, and MACHINE GUNS? Yikes.

[mandie @ thewrightingonthewall]

I love this post! It brought tears to my eyes.

I have to say, it reminded me of Joshua. He was asked to take Israel into the promise land, but on the way he had to fight so many armies (some that were much bigger than his)that posed a huge threat to Israel. Each time God reminded him, "I will go before you. I will not leave you, I will not forsake you." Each time Joshua obeyed, and each time God was faithful.

God will honor your obedience to Him.

I will pray with you this week, and while you are away.

[Angie]

Am praying specifically for protection from the Evil One who wants to do everything to plant fear in your mind. I love that God has promised, "Submit to me. Resist the devil. And he will flee." You are submitting... and Satan is running. :) May your trip bless your socks off!

[rachel@just another day in paradise]

I believe you will know why He is sending you. I believe it will change you, and I will be praying for you all.

[Christy]

Well said. He wants our obedience even when... I doubt that Abraham had a smile on his face when he took Isaac to be sacrificed. I will pray for you and your family, not only for your protection, but also that you may see the blessings that come from your obedience.

[Cary Garner]

I WILL be praying for you guys every night before I close my eyes and every morning when I wake up. Count on it. I just know this will be a far bigger blessing than you could ever imagine.

[thefarmerfiles]

WOW God has grown you so much in just these couple of months....

[pattik]

Shook me right out of my happy place.
You really crack me up!! Prayers
are and will continue to go up for your
family.

[Tammy]

God is going to knock your socks off.

You will certainly be in my prayers. This kind gesture makes me think of the verse that states, "Take up your CROSS and follow me"

Blessings to the whole palace.

[RLR]

"I don't think that God always expects us to do His will with a smile. He knows there are times that we are barely able to surrender to Him.

But He does expect us to surrender to Him.

Even if our eyes are squeezed shut and our hearts are pounding.

I may immediately know why I've gone on this trip or I may never know why.

But I rest in the knowledge that He knows."

You said it better than I could, and I am grateful for the reminder.

Praying for you!

[Jules from The Roost]

I can totally understand how that would shake you! He & He alone makes you dwell in safety! =)

[andi]

Release what you feel owed from God. I don't do this myself and REALLY have no idea why I am telling you this other than I feel compelled to. Thank you for your honesty!!! I can TOTALLY relate.
He has given you all that you have-your life, your home, your daughter, your husband, this trip. It is all a gift. The natural response is to want to protect those things, harbor them, own them. But they are not our own-they are His. A gift to us, we are owed nothing. His Son Jesus was a gift more than enough. He will be with you as you all pack, as you leave for the airport, as you board the plane, and He will be waiting for you when you land. He will be with you as you minister there and you will see Him in the faces of those you serve. May you see Jesus in a way you have never seen Him before!
Your honesty is precious and your willingness so convicting to me! Thank you for allowing us to be a part of this!

[Kristen]

God will bless you on your trip! And it is perfectly okay to feel the way you do! God knows your heart and He knows that it will be okay, He let the lady know to send you the cross and that says more than anything else :)

Side note: I just stumbled upon your blog and I LOVE your layout!!

[Amy @ By His Grace]

Remember all we've talked about. Remember the faithful who are praying for you and your group. Remember His faithfulness.

[Betty]

I just stumbled upon your blog and I just wanted to let you know I will be praying for you. I love your transparency, and God will contiue to shake you and make you his. May his perfect peace fill you with wisdom.

[Dana Jones]

Really, there is no safe place on this earth, except by the hand of God. I'm marking my calendar the days you'll be gone and will pray for your whole entourage. Love, Dana

[Tonggu Momma]

I will be praying for you during your ENTIRE trip. He will hold you in the palm of His hand. He truly will. And those babies... my Tongginator was once one of those babies.

Take lots and lots of photos. You may be able to share them with the childrens' first families or adoptive families at a later time. Those photos will be SUCH treasures. I cannot even tell you. Imagine how many photos you have of the Princess during her first year of life. We have four... and one is only the size of a postage stamp.

(Did giving you a job help take your mind off things?)

[Jenny]

"I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."
-- Mother Teresa

I am sending prayers your way!

[Sue]

Your obedience will bring blessings, daughter.

Praying for you.

[Headless Mom]

Praying!