Being the mom of a girl certainly has its share of drama.
The ups. The downs. The tears. The sass. The stomping.
Oh the stomping.
I've always assumed being the mom of a boy is much easier.
(The exceptions being broken bones, more laundry and gross smells.)
Well. I ran errands with my 6 year old nephew, JJ, for a few hours today.
Just me and him.
Errands that The Princess and I run weekly.
This is how it went down...
We got into the car.
And he was starving and thirsty.
I have to remind The Princess to eat. Not that she doesn't eat--she only eats when she's hungry. (I know. Crazy girl.)
Well, apparently JJ was hungry 30 minutes after lunch.
We got a snack and a grape slush and headed to the Post Office.
JJ: "Aunt B?" (This is literally how my nephews refer to me.) "Do you think I'm really big?"
Aunt B: "You know, JJ, I was just thinking about how big you are getting."
JJ: "I could probably really beat up The Princess."
We arrived at the Post Office. I never knew the Post Office has so many buttons. And levers. And swinging doors. And machines. And a fire extinguisher. And a corner perfect for a somersault.
I know that now.
Off to Target.
JJ: "Aunt B? Do people ever just call you plain B?"
Aunt B: "Yes, JJ. Some people just call me plain B."
JJ: "I think I am going to call you Aunt B sometimes and just plain B sometimes."
We arrived at Target.
JJ: "Aunt B? There are a few things I've been needing at Target."
Sucker Aunt B: "Like what, JJ?"
JJ: "Well. A card for my mama and a new Nintendo game."
We headed to the cards. I was picking a get well card for poor Amy. So JJ found a get well card for poor Amy, too. And a get well card for his (healthy) mom.
We then made our way to the video games. And if any of you happen to live in Arkansas and were almost plowed down by a 6 year old pushing a cart with his wacky Aunt
B running behind him, well, it wasn't us.
JJ picked a video game. I don't know what it was. It was rated E for Everyone.
JJ then had to go to the bathroom. And he was not going to be able to hold it. So we made our way to the family bathroom by the pharmacy. And it was locked.
Again, if any of you were in Target in Arkansas yesterday and were incessantly harassed by the shaking of the bathroom door while you were doing your business, I can't imagine who that might have been.
JJ went in the bathroom. And then he came out and said, "Aunt B? I pushed that button on the wall. I'm not sure what it is for."
If any of you happen to work at Target in Arkansas and were unnecessarily called to clean up a clean bathroom yesterday...I feel for you. Some people are so rude.
So we went to get some paper towels. Which unfortunately happen to be right across from the toys.
JJ: "Aunt B? I really need this Star Wars town thing."
Aunt B (gaining strength): "No, JJ. We aren't getting the Star Wars city."
JJ: "Ok. But I need it."
I held my ground.
But then he needed some milk. Chocolate milk, to be exact.
So he picked some strawberry milk and put it in the basket.
I thought it was probably a good time to head to the check out.
JJ looked at the cashier's name on his tag.
JJ: "So is your name really Jeff?"
Not very friendly Jeff: "Yes."
JJ: "I like that name. Do you like working at Target?"
Less friendly Jeff: "Sure."
I swiped my credit card and began to sign my name.
JJ: "Aunt B? Are you writing in cursive?"
Aunt B: "Yes, JJ. You will learn cursive really soon."
JJ: "Jeff! Aunt B can write in cursive!"
Pretty close to hateful Jeff: "Great."
We got back into the car.
My car has a push button ignition and no key. Which still freaks me out just a little bit. JJ had not seen it before.
JJ: "Aunt B?"
Aunt B: "Yes, JJ?"
JJ: "Does your car just start with the push of a button?"
Aunt B: "Yes."
JJ: "Well then I can drive your car!"
JJ and I headed back to the house.
JJ: "Aunt B? Can I live with you?"
Aunt B: "Oh, JJ. Your mom would miss you so much."
JJ: "But I got her a card."
JJ went back to his mom. I collapsed onto the couch and said a prayer of thanksgiving for the silence.
And smiled as I thought of our day.