The Queen B

Game On

The Palace is in great need of new games.

The kind that are not connected to a video gaming system.

We love board games, card games, domino games...pretty much all games.

Our current favorite is Racko. We have worn out the cards. But I happen to know which card numbers belong to the card with the faded right corner and the card with the bent middle. So we'll not be replacing those any time soon.

Honorable mention goes to Mancala. But I always lose. And I'm not so much into losing.

So tell me your favorite game. And we can all read the comments and learn about some new ones.

We'll all be winners.

Weekend In Review

Let me begin with this: Why do boys feel the need to blow up everything that is not breathing on the 4th of July?? Coke cans, boxes, BBQ sandwiches....

I don't understand boys.

My beloved felt the need to place mini bombs under his family members' chairs. And he liked rolling smoke bombs at their shoes. And throwing bottle rockets at his 30-year-old sister.

I don't understand boys.

Now. I'll review the weekend. Prepare yourselves for complete boredom.

The Princess had a yucky gross cough all last week, so I took her to the doctor on Thursday. And you know, both of her lungs were full. So she was prescribed steroids and albuterol. Which has made her wild. And unfortunately not sleepy. She spent all of Thursday night laughing hysterically.

Which makes for a happy Friday.

We recovered enough to do a Movie Marathon on Friday afternoon. We started with Kit Kittredge: An American Girl. I loved it. It was a great movie.

And may I just ask where Chris O'Donnell has been for the last few years? I forgot that I really like him.

Then we went to see Wall-E. Not so sure about this one. I liked the robot interaction. For the first 30 minutes or so. However, I am beginning to get a bit frustrated with this new trend of political statements being made in children's movies. Just tell a story people. TELL A STORY.

I kept expecting Al Gore to pop onto the screen and talk with us about global warming.

After the marathon, we went to The King's parents for a little bbq and fireworks. It was a lot of fun until the smoke bombs got the coughing started. Pretty much downhill from there.

We had to rise at the crack of dawn on Saturday in order to be out of the house for a 9 a.m. realtor showing. My mom is in Florida, so we drove to her house (which is about an hour away) to feed her cat.

This might be a good time to mention that her cat does not like me. The cat hasn't had human interaction in days, but he hides under the bed while I'm there. Whatever.

While we were in town, we stopped by to visit Nannie. She and The Princess made chocolate covered strawberries. I've only had about 16.

We took Nannie to eat at the new cafeteria in town. Which could be a post in itself.

A. Cafeterias are way expensive.
B. Who knew there were new cafeterias?
C. There is a lot of overeating that takes place at a cafeteria.

Nannie recently bought a new car.

Y'all. She will be 86 on her next birthday.

She is not like any other 86-year-old I've ever known.

The wheels on her last car were spinners.

Spinners, y'all.

And it had a bullet hole sticker or two.

The King asked her where her spinners were for her new car.

She said, "They say that spinners were a phase and it is over."

Alrighty then.

We got home in time to watch the Daytona race. Go #88!!

Yesterday we went to church and then spent the afternoon swimming.

Oh. And I drove around and wrote down the addresses of houses that I like and then did that reverse lookup thing to see who lives in them.

And then I may or may not have sent them letters telling them I want their houses.

It's hard to imagine how Monday can top that excitement.

Time Management 101

Unless I am mistaken, I believe it is summer.

Why then am I so stinkin' busy?

I'm beginning to wonder if I am going to look back and feel like I wasted these glorious summer days doing stuff.

Errands. Phone calls. Blogging. The list could go on.

Starting today it is back to boot camp.

Time Management Boot Camp.

If I don't control the direction of my day...who is going to?

I seriously doubt The King is going to suddenly exclaim, "Honey, I've noticed you are overwhelmed with the day to day stuff right now, and I would love to spend my hard earned money providing you with a personal assistant to do all of the yuck sprinkled throughout your day. It is my heartfelt desire that you and The Princess enjoy leisurely summer days filled with nothing but lemonade and bliss".

It is more likely that I'll be mistaken for a swimsuit model.

And that, my friends, ain't gonna happen.

So, I'm going to spend the day organizing things so that the rest of this break feels like an actual break.

I thought I might give you one of my favorite time management tips and then you could share one of yours.

We all win.

Ok. I love, love, love unruled index cards.

I use them for:

Daily Lists - I write down everything I need to do that day and scratch it off when it is done. I LOVE scratching things off my list. Sometimes I even put "eat lunch" on my list. I can carry it with me all day and throw it away each night.

Grocery Lists - It fits right in my wallet. Perfect!!

Meal Planning - I keep my weekly menu on a card and keep in on my calendar. When the week is over, I file it to use again.

Notes - I can jot notes to The King and leave those babies all over the place.

Gift Tags - Oh yes. I've done it. A few stickers, ribbon and markers and you are all set.

It costs less than $3 for a package of 500 cards. Get them. You will love them.

Now give me your best. Quickly. Time's a-wastin'.

Tying Up Some Loose Ends

Ok. A few of you need closure regarding the Iron Free Motel Stay.

And that is Motel with an M, not an H.

Just in case you hadn't figured that out.

We survived. We were often wrinkled, but we survived. An iron may or may not have been slipped in.

Our cousins' room was next to the indoor pool. There was a dehumidifier in their room to suck out the moisture in the air.

They dumped a gallon.

Which screams "Toxic Mold" loud and clear, my friends. Loud. And. Clear.

Anyway, several asked the name of this establishment. It was not a chain. Other than that, I just can't say it. I don't want to be ugly.

Ok. It has to do with a direction and a brand make type of tree. Like, Northern Pecans, but not.

The End.

***

Thank you all for the encouraging comments and emails yesterday.

I am feeling better about the house. God knows what is going on and that is more than enough for me.

Oh, and we looked at a house today that had been struck by lightening. The chimney was all over the yard. And when we walked inside the fireplace had exploded all over the living room. There was a humongous hole in the wall and sheetrock was everywhere.

I'm thinking this might not be the best selling point.

***

I will be getting back to the Weekend Wonderfulness soon. I am needing to lose a few pounds and perusing through recipes is not conducive to weight loss.

And neither is this, but somebody's gonna have to throw it out to make me stop.

***

I went to an accessory store and bought a few necklaces. Don't know what to wear them with.

***

The ShamWow has not yet been used. I have nothing to report except for the long roll of ShamWows takes up a strange amount of space. (Especially when we have TWO! FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!!)

The home electrocution device is interesting. I enjoyed it the first time I strapped it to my back for 30 minutes of non-stop shocking. The place where my back always hurts did not hurt at all after using it.

However, since that time I've had a sharp pain in my left shouder. I'm just sayin'.

***

My hair is falling out. Lots of strands on my pillow when I wake. And the sink where I wash my hair is full of the hair. And I am not sure if it is from the multiple colorings or the stress. Either way, please send me suggestions of what to do to put my hair back in keep it from falling out.

Seriously. Send help.

***

That's all. Nothing else that I can remember needs further detail. Really none of this needed further detail.

Have a fabulous day.

Did I Mistakenly Sign Up For Summer Camp?

Their Solution: An "Ironing Station".

In the hall.

For everyone to share.

What does one wear to an ironing station when one has to iron one's clothing?

Do you know how bad I want to scorch the carpet by the ironing station?

Even Good Accessories Couldn't Help This

I've got problems.

The Princess and I are on a mini-vacation with The King's cousin's wife and her daughter.

Upon entering our room, I look at the carpet and see this.

Then I noticed this.

Um. What exactly am I supposed to do with my clothes that have been wadded folded in a suitcase that has been in my trunk for an entire day?

And what's up with the iron confiscation?

How would they know if I had an iron? Do they dig through my luggage?

Do neatly pressed people garner suspicion?

Is iron dropping a serious problem of which I have been unaware?

Do you think each room has an iron print in the carpet?

I'm gonna be looking great tomorrow.

(And don't even think of telling me to hang my clothes in the bathroom and turn on the hot shower to steam the wrinkles out. I'm probably not gonna go to that much effort.)

(And one second in the Bathroom of High Humidity would cause my hair to go into an irreparable frizz.)

(And I'm just getting over the trauma of last week's hair.)

When I Grow Up I Want To Like Gardening

Y'all, I have no green thumb. I am not so good in the yard. I don't like dirt much. I don't like itching much. I'm not all that into digging.

I wanted to be a part of The Preacher's Wife's Spring Garden Tour, though.

But I don't really garden.

I want to garden.

Really I want to want to garden.

I don't want to garden.

You followed that, right?

Since my house is for sale, my friend, Donna came over to spruce up my porch.

She is good at the gardening.

So I am totally going to post the pictures of her work.

It is my house.

Donna took some pots that I had and actually put stuff in them.

Hmmm. I shoulda thought of that.

I love this pot of flowers.

Donna even made my shelves look like I do the gardening. With dirty gloves and everything. How selfless is that?

This was her masterpiece. I love it!

I'll share a few pictures of my yard.

I have no idea what this orange flower is, but it is one of my favorites.

Here's another picture of my favorite orange thing. I really like how it looks next to that lime green stuff on the ground.

These hydrangeas were my Mother's Day gift about 3 years ago.

Here is another picture of, um, some green stuff.

And that is all you can see. Because my front beds are kind of pitiful.

Check out The Preacher's Wife for some beautiful pictures by people who really know what they are doing.

disclaimer: All yard work was done by The King and only The King. I have had nothing to do with any planting, maintenance or, um, work in the yard. I felt I should make that clear.

Since it is Father's Day and all.

This Too Shall Pass...I Think

I did something a little bit out of character this weekend.

Very Un-Queen-like.

I have been wanting to do it for a while.

Like, a year or more.

But I have been very responsible and sensible and parental and talked myself out of it.

Until this weekend.

I got my nose pierced.

Just a teensy, tiny diamond.

Little bitty.

In my nose.

(And yes, Dad, I still love Jesus. Jesus doesn't care if my nose is pierced or not.)

A friend and I have talked about doing it for a while. She emailed me on Saturday to see if I would want to go with her because the piercing place was having a Summer Sale.

I did.

She is a praise singer at our church. She loves Jesus, too.

Did you know that you have to go to a tattoo parlor to get your nose pierced?

And tattoo parlors are just exactly like they are portrayed in the movies.

There were major bikers sitting outside the door. Long gray beards. Black leather vests. Arms covered in tattoos. Unnecessary chains on random parts of their bodies. Scowling.

We walked in the door and looked around.

It was clean. And bright. And had, you know, skeletons and symbols of death all over the walls. And ceiling.

As we were waiting, another girl walked in and asked how long the wait was going to be to get her belly button pierced because her babysitter was only at her house for a little while longer...

Then she turned to my friend and said that she recognized her from somewhere. So the three of us began naming all of the Bible Studies we'd attended.

Just a guess, but that is probably not the normal conversation that occurs in the tattoo parlor.

We filled out a bunch of paper work. Most certainly signing away our rights to sue if we contracted any communicable diseases.

As we turned to go to the waiting room, I was startled to see a skeleton hanging from a noose over a lovely waterfall. We wanted to get our picture made with him. But the lady said no cell phones were allowed.

And I was not going to break her rules. Trust me. I was NOT going to break her rules.

So we waited. And tried to shield our eyes from the television where Bride of Chuckie was playing.

We glanced at some price sheets. Let me tell you...you can get pierced in some really frightening places. That would be called Specialty Piercing. As opposed to Standard Piercing. For which the nose qualifies.

Word to the wise: Avoid the Specialty Piercing.

Eventually our piercing stylist administrator dude, Bones, called us back. My friend volunteered to go first. Which seemed brave. But it really wasn't. Because I had to watch the piercing.

And when they stuck the skewer through her nose I kind of got knees like jelly.

Then it was my turn. Bones asked which side I wanted.

Panic.

Does any particular side mean any particular thing?

I AM IGNORANT IN THE DEPARTMENT OF NASAL PIERCING ETIQUETTE AND REGULATIONS.

I said, "Well. I'll have to get it on my right side because I have a polyp in my left nostril from my allergies."

And Bones looked at me as if I were from Mars.

So I was pierced.

And it didn't hurt.

Except for when the skewer was resting on my lip and eyebrow. Because it was through my nose. That made me a little nauseous.

It probably just made you a little nauseous, too. Sorry about that.

I think the nose piercing is a phase. I don't know that it will last very long. But maybe it will.

Perhaps I'm rebelling against something.

But The King likes it. And The Princess thinks it is cool.

And I can say that I've been in a tattoo parlor.

Which is not necessarily something that I should say.

Hospitality Is Not My Gift

So I'm not really about effortless entertaining.

For me, it takes A LOT of effort.

A LOT.

All caps.

I generally worry A LOT about how my house appears. I know that is rotten, but it is true.

I usually slave making everything we eat.

Normally I say, "No. Don't bring a thing. Just come and enjoy".

And I mean it. I don't want our guests to have any stress. I want our home to be a place where they relax and feel a teensy bit pampered.

But.

It is not all that enjoyable for me. I don't ask people over very often because it will be a ton of work. And expensive. And a ton of work.

I have not been able to spontaneously offer invitations.

God has been working on me in lots of areas lately.

Hospitality is most definitely one of those areas.

Opening my home does not mean that my home has to be perfect.

It doesn't mean that the food has to be prepared from scratch.

It means I am willing to allow my home and my family to be used however God intends on using them.

This weekend provided opportunities to do just that.

Saturday afternoon...at 5 pm...I invited a family over for supper. For THAT night.

I ran to the store and grabbed burger stuff and asked the family to bring dessert.

They were there by 5:30.

And it was fabulous.

It was truly one of the most relaxed evenings that we have had in a long time.

I even used paper birthday plates and flamingo napkins that DID NOT MATCH.

We were able to spend time with a family that we didn't know very well and really focus on them.

Not the food or the house or the yard.

The guests.

Which is what it is all about.

The evening flew by and I was kind of sad when it ended. And I think they might have been, too.

It was so much fun that we invited another family over last night!

And they brought strawberry shortcake!!

Which totally felt like God's abundant blessing.

Before, I thought that I was focusing on my guests but I was really focusing on myself.

What they thought of my home, my skills...what they thought of me.

I would encourage any of you that hesitate to practice hospitality--for whatever reason--to give it another try.

And have them bring the dessert.

*****
Check back later today to see who wins the ice cream!!!

This Is Where Being OCD Is Just Annoying

So last week I mentioned that we have just put our house on the market.

I know. Great timing.

Can I just tell you the stress of preparing to "show" the house?

I have no sense of what is appropriate.

I am sure that as time goes on, I will chill.

Oh, who am I kidding?

I will not chill. I will be as anal 4 months from now as I am today.

We've shown the house 7 times since last Friday.

So that is 7 times of this...

"Showing the house! Everyone get busy! You--take the kitchen! You--change the cat litter!! You--take out the trash!!! Everyone, GO, GO, GO!!!"

Exhausting.

I want everything to look lovely--as if people really don't live here.

Lamps on. Trash gone. Smell good stuff sprayed.

I think I am way over-thinking it.

I think.

Any tips on what you like to see when you are in the market for a new home?