The Queen B

Finally...An Update

Thanks to all of you who have emailed to ask about La P's adoption.

I wanted to post about it as soon as we returned last week, but I had to process for a few days.

And that is my only excuse for yesterday's post.

Basically, Guatemala is closed to all new adoptions.  That said, there are some going through.  

Which means they are really not closed.

You may recall that La P was born with a tumor in her face/sinus cavity/optical (orbital?) globe area.  It is alarmingly close to her optical nerve.  She has had 2 prior surgeries to remove the tumor.

Only it is still there.

We were able to obtain her medical records a few months ago.  Our interpretation (and that of a few doctors/nurses who have reviewed them) is that more surgeries are necessary.  There is a lot of debris floating around her optical nerve.  She has a lot of inflammation that is prone to infection.  

Not to mention she is a little girl with a significant growth on her face.

An adoption would be more likely if we could bring her here on a medical visa for treatment.  The only way that can happen is if a Guatemalan doctor will say that she needs treatment in the U.S.  

But the doctors there are saying that she is fine and it is only cosmetic.

Her records (and symptoms and examination by a doctor and nurse who traveled with us) totally indicate otherwise.

So.  We need to find a Guatemalan doctor who is willing to examine her and/or her records and will acknowledge that she needs treatment in the U.S.  

From that point, we have good information that things could begin happening pretty quickly.

If that doesn't happen, it will be years.  

If ever.

Our prayer is that God will lead us to a compassionate Guatemalan physician. 

On our way to visit La P, I really prayed that I would know for certain if she was ours or if we were just supposed to be her "sponsor" forever.

I kind of thought she might not remember me and then I'd know that it wasn't meant to be.

My heart was overflowing all week.  She knew us.  It was as if no time had passed.

She fits right in our family.  Her personality is so similar to that of The Princess.

She is funny and sweet.  She was so incredibly patient with us as we butchered the Spanish language.

(One time, after I'd said a word completely wrong, she rolled her eyes and said, "A, E, I, O, U" and gave us the proper pronunciation.)

She was sick on 2 different occasions while we were there.  She allowed me to care for her.  I held her and comforted her.  

I'm blown away by the depth of my love for her.

I was bending down to tie my shoe one afternoon and she walked over to me and kissed me on the cheek and said, "I love you, Mama".  

In English.

I melted.

One of the sweetest exchanges took place between her and my mother-in-law.  

For Christmas, we gave Nana a necklace with each of the grandkids' initial of their first name.  After we met La P, we got her another letter.  La P began checking out her necklace as soon as she saw Nana.  Nana showed her The Princess' letter and pointed to The Princess.  She showed her my nephew, Christopher's letter (he was with us on the trip) and pointed to him and then showed her the La P letter.  

(JJ's letter is on there, too.  He just wasn't on the trip.)

(If anyone that knows us was wondering.)

Something about that visual made it all click for La P.  I wish you could have seen her face when she realized what Nana meant.

I will never forget it.

Here are the 3 cousins...

La P loves her sister.

...and her sister loves her.

These photos were taken as we prepared to tell her goodbye.

Our time with her was fantastic.  Thank you for praying.

I know that there are many of you wearing your bracelets and praying for us.  

(Which reminds me, if you haven't gotten yours, let me know.  I think I deleted a few of the last emails of people who requested one.  Oh.  And if you live outside the U.S., I found your UNMAILED envelopes in my glove box the other day.  They are on their way.  Forgive?)

If you will, join us in praying specifically for a Guatemalan doctor.  There are so many details that will have to occur in the perfect order for us to bring her home.

When it happens, we will know without a doubt that it was orchestrated by God.

Adios.

We Are Home

I am still trying to decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing.
 

Good Things:

-It is great to be in my own bed.

The chicken wire with a 1/4 inch cushion was not conducive to my comfort.

I would love to show you the myriad of bruises that have formed on my hips from that "bed".  However, my stretch marks (not to mention the fact that it would be completely inappropriate) will keep those bruises hidden.

-There was great progress made on our house.  I'll have to share some pictures when I remember to take my camera.

-I really needed a Diet Mt. Dew.

-Flushing toilet paper.

-Having a reason to flush toilet paper. 
 

Bad Things:

-Leaving her.

That, my friends, was not easy.

Flying

Hey.

Remember me?

Really.  I never actually decided to take the summer off from blogging.  

Every day my intention is to get a post completed.

But then I decide that y'all are up to here with QB's posts about the house or the adoption.

And that is all I got.

So.  Because I miss you all (are any of you still there?) I thought I'd give a brief recap of what's been going on this week at The Palace...

Exciting stuff, isn't it?

Moving on...

So guess where I am headed today?

Yep.  The Palace is heading South.

Please pray for our trip today as we fly to Guatemala.  Though I'm much more excited than I was before our last journey, I am still a teensy bit afraid.

(I'm also a teensy bit medicated.)

I'm hoping to be able to post while there.  The internet is a bit sketchy...

I can't wait to share all the pictures and stories with you when we return!!!

Y'all rock.

Only Grace

So.

No paint.

(Fake some surprise.)

***

You know how God can take a really disappointing situation and turn it into something full of hope?

We've been witnessing one of those over the last week.

I've shared the Carney's story with you.  This young family of 6 has accepted the call to serve at an amazing orphanage in Guatemala.  

I've told you how they've prepared...how they've sold all of their belongings.

Their moving date is this week.

Only they won't be moving.

Not yet.

Bottom line:  their funding needs haven't been met.  

We hoped that the goal would be reached as their departure drew nearer.  But it just wasn't God's timing.

The King is on the board of Only Grace, the non-profit that is sending them.  Being a part of making that difficult decision was so incredibly hard for him.  How do you tell this family that the plans they have made over the last year are not going to happen as they expect?

I've already learned a few things from the experience.  

1. You cannot give God a timeline.  We set the date of June 20.  He didn't. 

2.  True character is seen when disappointment arrives.  Do you handle it with grace or with complaining?  

3.  God doesn't complicate things... we do that on our own.  

4.  Anything can be justified.  Seriously.  I think I could find a really good reason to only eat chocolate sundaes every meal for the rest of my life.

5.  When God prompts you to do something, do it.

6.  True courage is choosing to do the right thing when it will be unpopular and the wrong thing would be easier.

The Carney's have handled this with grace.  They are so excited to move to Casa, but accepted the decision made by the board.  They are disappointed, for sure. But they are focused on learning the lesson that God intends for them to learn.

Their testimony is going to be amazing!

I was having a difficult week last week anyway, and adding this to it was more than I could handle.  So I pretty much tried to talk The King into doing the easy thing.  

I might have even gotten a little mouthy.

Thankfully, he had the good sense to seek wise counsel and ignore his meddling wife.

(That sentence may or may not be edited out of the final post.)  

What really sticks with me is how often we intend to do something and never get around to it.  You know that commercial about how "almost giving is not giving" or something like that?

So true.

I'm not throwing stones here.  I'm guilty of the same thing.  

So many people assured the Carney's that they'd support them monthly and never did.

Of course, the economy reeks and things come up.  That is absolutely understandable.  

A lot of people just forget, though.  I have done that so many times.

When you feel prompted to support your local missionaries or Compassion or Only Grace or whatever...do it.  This experience has shown me that there really is no amount that is too small.  

And I fully believe that you'll never miss that money.  God always replenishes the storehouse. 

Always.

Even in the frustration of the delay, I know this is the right thing.  June 20 was never the date that God intended on sending them to Casa permanently.  He knows the perfect date.  

When He feels they are prepared to go, the money will be in place.

It is so nice to rest knowing that His plans are better than ours.

If you think of it, pray for the Carney's.  This is a major change of plans for them. (Did I mention they sold all their stuff?)  I know they are tired.  They've been living out of suitcases for a month...in and out of friends' homes...with 4 boys. 

I'm excited to see what God has planned for them.

In a strangely parallel universe, our builder shared these words with us...

Disappointment creates opportunity.

I'm thinking he's right.

(And I'll have paint by 2012.)

The Queen Is Green

Guess where The King is this week?

Yep.  

I'm totally and completely jealous.

Totally.

And.

Completely.

The King and his dad have gone back to Guatemala to help the Carney's finish up their home.

The King's dad hasn't been before.

I'd say he's hooked.

So that La Princesa doesn't forget that The Princess and I exist...ahem...I sent her a photo album filled with my our pictures. 

(I even included the pets.)

The King said she grabbed it and ran.

He said she immediately pointed to my picture and said, "Mi mama".

(Of course, she pointed to his and The Princess' pictures, too.)

(But this blog is about me.)

She cried when he had to go work on the construction stuff.  He said she just wanted him to hold her.  

Thankfully, they were able to end the day with smiles and hugs.

And now you have all of the information that I have.

Remember how The King was a bit stingy with The Tales Of La Princesa on his last trip?

DEJA VU.

Remember how you all had to gently persuade him to fill my cup to overflowing?

GET ON IT.

***

In all, there are 8 guys that are spending this week finishing the construction. Their move is fast approaching.

The Carney's had a garage sale last weekend and sold all of their worldly possessions.

All of them.

I don't know if I would have that much faith.

I would want to store my stuff.  You know, just in case it didn't work out like I'd hoped.

They sold it all.

The money that they made from the sale is what they'll start over with in Guatemala. 

Dishes.  Towels.  Spoons.  Sheets.  Clocks.  Spatulas.  

They can only take what fits in a few suitcases.  

(That would be, like, my beauty products and a few outfits.)

God has taught me so much through their example.

I encourage you to follow their journey.  

I know that I've turned The Journey To Guatemala into our story about La Princesa. I cannot forget the reason The King forced me there in the first place, though.  

It was to help our friends.

They are moving on June 20.  

They don't have their monthly financial needs covered.

They're still going.

Pray for them.  Their 4 boys are leaving all that is familiar.  They are leaving jobs and friends and family.

They are being obedient.

They are serving.

I am so excited to see what God has planned for them.

The Flying, The Flu, The Earthquakes...Oh My!

The King is leaving on a jet plane today.

He's headed back to Guatemala.  

He's traveling with Jason and another friend, Tim. Their goal is to finish much of the construction of Jason & Lacey's home.

The King's goal is to spend a little time with La Princesa!  

We are hoping that he will be able to get some good information on exactly what is going on with our adoption.

I am so excited to see some new pictures of her.  

We asked what her favorite color is and she was quick to tell us "Light pink...not dark pink.  Light pink."  Needless to say, The Princess and I have sent The King with plenty of light pink.

I'm just sayin'.

Please pray for his safety.  Even though our trip went smoothly last month, it is still a dangerous country.  

This flu business is in the back of my mind.  As are the multiple quakes that Casa has felt over the past few weeks.

However, this trip is different for me than the last.  I still have fears that are wanting to creep into my mind, but this time I have peace.  

True peace.

The peace that passes understanding.

I know that God is blessing him with the opportunity to spend some time with La Princesa.

I'd also ask for you to pray for his expectations.  Our last trip was incredible.  I know that every trip can't be that life-changing.  I want him to experience that same joy, though.  

Thank you for praying.  

(I know that you've already started.)

All In Favor Of A King Cam Say Aye

Nothing makes me want to post more than a good let's-all-make-fun-of-The-King kind of story.

So we are moving to a farm.  

We don't have farm animals (oh my word...I almost typed the word "yet") but The Gentleman still occasionally sticks some of his cows in the corral that is temporarily on our property. 

A new calf was a bit under the weather, so The Gentleman had placed it and its mama in the corral.  

(The King lacks farm cred.)

(It is about to become obvious.)

There was an extra cow wandering around our property, and it could have gotten in the road.  The King thought he might shoo it in the corral.

Which, truly, I'd have paid big money to see.

Somehow, he managed to actually get the rogue cow in there.  But it doing so, he got a little close to the calf.

Mama charged him.

Came running.

Full speed at The King.

Which, truly, I'd have paid big money to see.

Thankfully, The King is still pretty fast on his feet, and he climbed the fence and threw himself to the other side in what I'm pretty sure was record speed.

I get a little teary when I think of the joy that could have been shared if I'd been there with a camera.

Opportunity missed, my friends.

The best part of this story may be The Gentleman's response when The King told him what happened...

"If human mamas took care of their babies like cow mamas, the world would just be better."   

Amen.

This edition of Laughing With (Not At) The King, reminds me of the funniest thing that I never told you.

In Antigua, all 35 of us walked around together in a group.

In matching t-shirts.  

(Did someone say try to blend in?)

We'd been walking for an hour or so when The King piped up, "How do we keep ending up on this same street?"

Seriously.

*Disclaimer:  The King is fully aware that any of his actions, statements and/or questions are potential blog fodder.  It is his responsibility to declare something off the record.  

Are You In Need Of Some Closure?

Over the coming weeks, I'm sure I'll continue to post all that I am processing from our Guatemala trip.  But I can't keep the big surprise from you any longer!!

Actually, I kind of want to make you all guess and drag it out for a few more posts.   

A few of you have been getting pretty close, though...

We are in the beginning stages of adopting Maria.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

Maria was the first child that I connected with on our first day at Casa.  As I checked out the baby dorm (where Jason & Lacey are going to be living), Maria caught my attention.  I saw her sweet face and noticed that something was a little off.  I later found out that she has a tumor just under her eye.  

Something about her captivated me. 

However, that still small voice –the one that I usually ignore- prompted me to not say anything about her to The King or The Princess.

I sort of figured there would be many kids that would find a place in my heart throughout the week.

As the week progressed, I would see Maria from time to time…no fireworks or lightening strikes occurred.  

Just the occasional small stirring in my heart.

Toward the end of the trip, our girls were each given a bracelet that they could give to a special child that had touched their heart. 

The Princess introduced me to her new friend, Maria.  

She had given her bracelet to Maria.  The two of them were rather inseparable that afternoon.  

On our final day at Casa, The Princess approached me with tears in her eyes and said, "Mom, I think we are supposed to bring Maria home".

Y’all.  I went on this trip afraid that I wouldn’t be bringing myself home.  

Finding a child was not even on my radar.

But I knew that The Princess was right.

I have to say that I wasn’t exactly sure how to approach The King.  

God, through Maria, took care of that for me. Maria slowly walked to me and grabbed my hand and said, “My mama?”  She then dragged me over to The King and said, “My papi?”

It was pretty much a done deal at that point...

Looking back, The King and I can’t recall a time that we were together around Maria before that moment.  Certainly, she could have seen us together on the campus at some point throughout the week.  

Or perhaps God simply placed us in her heart just as He placed her in ours.  

Those of you that know us, know that we don’t make decisions without LOTS OF PLANNING.  The King and I never had a major conversation about adopting her…we never did a list of pros or cons…we just knew.

I’m so thankful that I hadn’t said anything to either The King or The Princess.   It was so precious that God allowed The Princess –WHO HAS ENJOYED HER ONLY CHILD STATUS IMMENSELY—to hear His call.  

And even more precious that she was obedient to share that call with us.

It was such a confirmation to me.  If she had come to me about any other child at Casa, I am pretty sure I would have blown her off.  

But not Maria.

Before we left Casa, The King approached Mike (the founder/director)  and asked to talk with him.  Mike nodded towards Maria, who was in the midst of a crowd, and asked, “Is she yours?”

I cannot even tell you the joy that has filled our hearts.  There are certainly many, many steps to bring her home. There will be good days and there will be hard days.  

But we absolutely know that this child is a gift to us from God.  

Please ignore the fact that my crack is dangerously close to exposure.  

Our first hurdle is a court hearing that will take place the week following Easter. At that hearing, a request will be made that she officially be declared "abandoned" so that the adoption can move forward.  Please keep that in your prayers.

Those of you who have known me for a while know how badly I didn't want to take this trip.  I didn't expect to be blessed.  I barely expected to survive.

In spite of my fear and doubt, God poured His blessings upon me and my family. 

He can do the same for you.

What I Learned

I hoped to write one big post about all that I saw and felt and learned while in Guatemala.  I wanted to wrap it up, tie a bow on it and be done.

For your sake, mostly.

I know there is only so much of Queen B's Mission Adventure that a person should have to endure.

But I can't seem to sum it up in a neat and tidy way.  If I try, I'm afraid my rambling will not share the importance of all that I found.

So I'll just start and see where it goes.

I'm thinking that you all had a pretty good understanding of the depth of my fear.  I really, really, really didn't want to go.  I really, really, really didn't think I would come back.

I'm so not making that up.

My particular kind of crazy rationalized that my house took so long to sell and the closing for the land that we purchased was delayed for one reason...we weren't going to be around.  I scheduled nothing past the trip.  Though it is now filling up, my calendar was empty after March 20.

Ridiculous, huh?

So much time, energy and emotion went into the planning of this trip.  I just didn't understand why.

I teased about it, but I really was mad at The King for making me go.  I prayed for a roadblock.

The night before we left, I begged God for the stomach virus.

I agonized through every detail of the preparation.  I had no expectation of God blessing me on this trip.

I had been hateful and frustrated and unkind and anxious.  I didn't want to go.

I think I might have even said, "I don't want to touch the kids" in a post or two.

God would never bless that attitude.

When the stomach virus failed to materialize on the morning of the trip, I knew my only option was to suck it up and endure.

I told my mom I just wanted to get there, get it over with and get back.

I needed to check the Mission Trip box off of my (husband's) life list.

Here is Lesson #1:  God's grace covers bad attitudes.

I've always felt that I have done nothing to deserve God's blessing.  I'm an average Christian at best.  Surely God only heaps blessing upon those who really do the good stuff.

Um.  Hello?  Isn't that what grace is all about?  Do any of us deserve God's blessing?

I think not.

It may not come as a big surprise to you, but I have spent years making the inner workings of God all about me.

I know better than that.  But I've done it nonetheless.

Thinking poorly of yourself is just as bad as thinking highly of yourself....in both cases, you are thinking of YOURSELF.

God absolutely knocked my socks off on this trip.  He heaped blessing after blessing upon my sorry, thirsty soul.

I did nothing to deserve it.

I just obeyed.  I knew I had to go.  I didn't want to.  I didn't like it.  I didn't think it would be worth it.

But I went.

(Before you start thinking "she thinks she's all that" for being obedient, let me say this:  If God had offered me the SLIGHTEST way out, I'd have taken it in a heartbeat.)

Thankfully, my fear of God was way bigger than my fear of flying, guerilla warfare & earthquakes.

I never expected that He would remove those fears.

I'll wrap up by saying this...I have lived in a pretty much constant state of fear and anxiety for years.

YEARS.

All of the things that I'm afraid of went with me to Guatemala.

But I came home without them.

I never thought it possible.  A humongous weight is off of me.  One that I didn't even realize I'd carried.

That is not to say fear and doubt won't reappear...I'm a sinner in a sinful world...but I now have the knowledge and experience of living without them.  

And I never want to carry that weight again.

I will try to be more specific next time.  I want to get into the details of how these lessons were learned.  I'm still wrapping my brain around it.

Also, I really do ask for your patience as I share about the trip.  

I promise I'll go back to the pointless and nutty at some point. 

I just really feel that it is my responsibility to share what God has done for me.  Even if only one of you gets something out of it, then it is worth the agonizing pain that the rest of you must endure.  

Well, it is.

And if you'll hang with me for a few more posts, there is a big surprise at the end of the story.

If You Have A Spare Hour...

Here are some pictures from our trip. I know it is really long. 

Sorry. 

If you hit the fast forward button instead of waiting for the photos to flip, it will go a little faster.... 

Many of the photos may only mean something to the people that were on the trip, but I hope that you can see a glimpse of how we spent our time at Casa. 

Thank you again for your prayers. 

I'm going to make some of you go with me next time. 

And yes, I said next time. 

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