June 18, 2008

QBBQ #9 (Queen B's Beauty Quest Number Nine)

I humbly write this post seeking your help in a particular area of my fashion and beauty life.

Accessories.

I am not so good at the accessorizing.

I mean I'm really not good at the accessorizing.

I, in fact, do not accessorize.

And not only am I unskilled in all things accessory, but I also do not enjoy spending money on accessory type items.

My daily accessorizing consists of: wedding ring; watch (It's a Fossil, and y'all...I've had it for 9 years.); diamond stud earrings.

That's it. Nothing more. Nothing less.

When I'm feeling snazzy, I can add a necklace. Or a little bit more exciting pair of earrings.

I'm not often feeling snazzy.

If I lived near Sam Moon, I think I might be inclined to accessorize more.

But I don't.

I have a brown belt and a black belt.

I know. You expected more. I am so sorry to disappoint.

Today I've been packing for a little trip and my lack of accessories is making me frustrated.

Things must change.

So spill it. Tell me what your daily accessories consist of and what I need to do to pull myself together.

Hey. Does the nose ring count?

May 28, 2008

QBBQ: Emergency Proclamation #1

Stop what you are doing.

Well. Not really.

If you stopped reading then you wouldn't get the emergency proclamation.

And it is life altering.

Go to the store today and buy this....

Lashblast_mascara_1

Wow.

I've been waiting for a mascara like this.

It separates. It lengthens. It doesn't get gunk all over the place.

Miraculous.

It is Lashblast by Cover Girl.

Go.

We'll get back to the rest of the beauty another day.

And we'll never need to discuss mascara again.

April 29, 2008

QBBQ #8 (Queen B's Beauty Quest Number 8)

The Queen Mother is in town because The Princess' school is having a grandparents day thing tomorrow.

And a mothers' tea.

And a schoolwide dinner.

And an awards ceremony.

All tomorrow.

Don't you love the end of school?

Anyway. We were kind of thinking of doing a dual post kind of thing. Except for I just saw that she has my blog saved on her computer with a picture of a pig.

So she may be uninvited.

We'll see where this goes.

B: What are we gonna blog about?

QM: How about a QBBQ about fingernail polish?

B: Ok.

QM: Let's name all the different kinds.

Princess: There's that NYC kind.

B: I like to call it C-H-E-A-P.

QM: You've got the OPI and the China Glaze and that Sally Hansen.

Princess: The Claire's kind is pretty good.

QM: All of the make-up lines have their own polish. They are all pretty cheap except for Chanel.

Princess: Who is Chanel?

QM: I kept breaking out so I had to start buying formaldehyde free polish.

Princess: Do they have good colors?

B looks at QM's toes and thinks not.

QM: It just looks pale next to my dark tan.

B: You need to stop going to the tanning bed.

QM: But I'm going to Florida.

B: Skin cancer does not care about your vacation.

QM: Then maybe we should do a QBBQ about sunscreen.

B: That solar oil is good stuff for your nails.

QM: That is good. I use it every day.

QM leaves the room to go get her formaldehyde free stuff. Apparently it travels with her.

QM returns with this ugly little bottle of Zoya. Apparently the formaldehyde resides in the pretty color part of the nail polish.

B: I like that essie nail polish.

QM: I like pinks for summer.

Princess: I like lime green.

The Princess is about to be banned from this conversation.

B: I like salmon-y colors and oranges for summer.

QM makes a really ugly face and says, "Not so much. I like reds for winter and warm and hot pinks for spring for summer."

B: What the heck is a warm pink?

QM: It is not quite hot. You know how a hot pink is like BRIGHT PINK...PINK! And a warm pink is not as pink. Not so PINK.

The King has left the building.

Hang on. We are having major drama on Dancing With the Stars. The Latin boy has hurt himself.

B: What about removers?

QM: I like the pads because if you stick your finger down in it your whole finger gets red.

B: Maybe it has formaldehyde. Maybe that is why your finger is getting red.

QM: Good point.

Princess: Does anyone think you're goth if you have lime green nail polish?

The King: No that is black.

B: Wait a minute...black is kind of cool. Dark colors are good.

Princess: Ooh. Like sparkly gray is ok, but not black.

It is now obvious to me that The Princess is going to need a stylist.

B: I think the french thing is close to over.

QM: Ooh. No. I love the french.

I am ending this painful conversation. Please tell us if the french is in or out. Tell us what brands and colors you wear.

And tell me why in the world she would mark me with a pig.

April 17, 2008

QBBQ #7 (Queen B's Beauty Quest Number Seven)

With summer right around the corner, I am starting to look for ways to simplify my beautification routine.

Which is already pretty simple. I can be ready start to finish in 12 minutes. That includes washing and drying my hair.

It is a skill that I don't take for granted.

The most intricate and tedious part of those 12 minutes is spent glamorizing my eyes.

And glamorizing might be a bit of an overstatement.

This is what I do with my eyes:

1. Eye cream is put on soon after my face is washed. Right now I am using Bobbi Brown's Hydrating Eye Cream.

2. Eye Corrector is delicately applied under my eyes to reduce the dark spots.

3. Eye Corrector is quickly followed by Eye Concealer. I don't know why. Because the lady told me to do it that way and I wrote it all down and that is what it says.

And I'm nothing if not a rule follower.

4. My first layer of defense: The Cream Shadow. And I don't really think it is a layer of defense. I've just always kind of wanted to write that. The cream shadow glides on my lids. Sometimes when I am in a hurry I only wear the cream shadow. It does make my lids look a little anemic. But it makes me feel about 25% better than nothing on my lids.

My current flava is Sandy Gold.

(I'm not sure I can really pull off flava.)

5. Eye Color- Step 2: These days I am swiping Heather Eye Shadow across the crease in my eyelid.

However, that crease is getting more difficult to see as the droopiness is becoming more pronounced.

6. For me, the most difficult part of the eye decorating process is the eye liner. I am not so skilled in the Department of Eye Lining. I have tried all kinds. Wet ones. Dry ones. Dry ones that you make wet by adding water. Pencils. Crayons. Gels. I am currently wielding a plain ol' pencil. Kind of in a smoky purple gray type color. The make-up lady told me to only put it on the top. Which feels a little like not enough.

7. Oh Mascara. Where art thou, Mascara? That is how I feel about my mascara. I feel like if I put it on where you can see it, I look like a tarantula. If I put it on where it feels comfortable, I think it is invisible. I am hoping that I just haven't found my kind.

And let me say, at the risk of offending, I am not a fan of the Great Lash Mascara. I know that is blasphemy. I know that it has won more awards than any other beauty product known to man. It just doesn't work for me. A little gunky.

It would be so lovely if you could toss out some eye products that thrill you.

Not toss out, like, throw away.

Toss out, like, advise me.

And don't talk about your brows yet. They will need their own post.

April 01, 2008

QBBQ #6 (Queen B's Beauty Quest #6)

I had high hopes of writing an amazing April Fools post today.

Key word in that sentence: had.

Then I was going to post about yesterday's manicure. The manicure lady's name was Dung. And when I told her that I'd like my nails cut short, she told me that she'd ask me how I wanted my nails cut AFTER she had dealt with my cuticles. Which she did. She asked me how I wanted my nails cut after she had dealt with my cuticles.

Apparently Dung follows protocol.

That wasn't really worth an entire post.

So I'm back with the beauty.

And though it would make sense to delve into all things nail related...making sense has never been my strongest quality.

The fragrance post was such a hit that I feel like we must go straight into the most important weapon in my beauty arsenal.

Because, as I stated, I'm not all that into fragrance. Though the Ed Hardy has snagged me a comment or two.

When people comment on your perfume it makes you wonder. Are they just acknowledging that it smells or are they really meaning that it smells good?

Anyway. Lipstick.

The most important weapon in my beauty arsenal.

Oh, friends. I need to confess that my lips take up a full quarter of my face. It is not necessarily a good thing.

When you are Angelina Jolie and your cheekbones are high and protruding...it works.

A few extra pounds and I look like a blow fish.

Blowfish


When I get a cold sore...wow. It is like an alien has sucked on my head and left his mark.

Or something like that.

Maybe something a little less nasty.

Anyway. Lipstick.

I praise the Lord every day for the creation of lip color. If it weren't for lip color I would look like a big wad of chap with eyes.

Problem numero uno with lipstick-o is the impromptu discontinuation that occasionally takes place-o.

My all-time favorite lipstick is Estee Lauder's Gentleberry.

Discontinued.

1948_750129150

Can we have a moment of silence?

After the moment of silence, I feel led to say that in real life, Gentleberry is not so hot pink.

After years of bad lips and desperate searching, I found a replacement: Bare Escentuals' Pecan.

7222

Also gone.

So now I've got nothing. I have pitiful attempts to replace the best. Hardly worth wearing.

I lean toward a brownish plumish color. Reds look ridiculous on me. We are talking Queen B Does the Circus.

I hate pink as a rule. Burgundies work. Unless they are pushing the goth envelope.

Tell me what you love. Please. I am praying for a good lipstick.

Amen.


P.S. I posted a second time yesterday, and I need it to not be missed. Desperation has a name, people. Its name is me-trying-to-figure-out-this-digital-scrapping.

March 18, 2008

QBBQ #5 (Queen B's Beauty Quest Number 5)

The Queen Mother is rather insistent that QBBQ #5 be about fragrance.

Me? I don't care so much.

The Queen Mother and Nannie have made a sport out of selecting new fragrances.

Me? I don't care so much.

Have I mentioned that I'm not that into perfume?

However, my duties as a daughter and granddaughter obligate me to please them on occasion.

And this seems rather painless.

Hang on. I'm calling QM.

B: I'm doing the perfume thing. What do you want to know?

QM: I want to know what everyone's favorite fragrance is. For women and men. Like, their husbands or something. I think that would be interesting to know..

B: Everything that you are saying, I am writing.

QM: Oh. Well. That kind of makes me happy.

B: Do you think everyone wears perfume?

QM: A lot of women do when they get dressed up. A lot of people like to be girly. Perfume is girly.

B: Slow down...typing.

QM: Sorry.

B: Do you think most women wear the same perfume every day?

QM: I don't know. I change. I change depending on the season. Mother changes depending on the season.

B: (thinking...what the heck?)

B: What are you going to do with this information?

QM: Go perfume shopping, what else?

B: What are your favorite perfumes? I guess you are into spring perfumes now?

QM: My all time favorite is Ombre Rose but you can't find it anymore.

B: Have you looked online?

QM: No.

B: (???)

QM: I like, in no particular order: Glo by J.LO...

B: What? You wear J.LO? Mother?

QM: Cashmere Mist by Donna Karan; Herve Leger;

B: Isn't that the guy from TMZ? J.LO? TMZ? Mother?

QM: That is Harvey Levin. Black Orchid by Tom Ford.

B: I've never heard of any of those besides the J.LO thing.

QM: Britney Spears also has a pretty good one out, bless her. The sprayer thing doesn't work, though.

B: Do you think maybe it is just your sprayer thing?

QM: I tried it in a couple of stores. They've all been defective.

B: She's got all kinds of troubles.

QM: She can pick out good fragrance.

B: What perfume does Nannie wear?

QM: She loves Angel by whoever Angel is by. I don't know what else. I got her some new kind for Christmas but she hasn't commented on it.

B: Has she worn it?

QM: Don't think so.

B: Are you wanting to go watch Survivor?

QM: I am watching it.

B: Oh. Well. I guess we're done then.

QM: Ok. Bye.

B: Bye.


So there you go. The Queen Mother wants to know all about the fragrances. Men and women.

And she apparently has a thing for the ones peddled by pop stars.

FYI: I am currently wearing my Christmas gift from the Christmas before last. It is Jo Malone's Nectarine Blossom & Honey. It smells great. I know it is expensive, but it has lasted for over a year. Normally, I wear something until the bottle is empty or until I think it stinks. I would rather wear a scented lotion than the spray. I like fruity smells. Especially grapefruit and nectarine. I don't like floral scents.. P. U. I also like musky smells. Not musty. Musky. The kind of fragrance that could be for a man or a woman. Thank you very much.

Suggest away.

Make the Queen Mother happy.

Please.

February 27, 2008

QBBQ #4 (Queen B's Beauty Quest Number Four)

My fellow slaves to beauty, you know the importance of a good foundation.

I mean, come on. We all must look as if we naturally have magnificent skin. Without actually having magnificent skin. A good foundation can totally do that for us.

I want to briefly run through the list of the foundations that I have used in the past few years.

Prescriptives Flawless Skin

Prescriptives Traceless

Prescriptives Virtually Fresh

Bobbi Brown Foundation Stick

Bobbi Brown Oil-Free Even Finish Foundation SPF 15

Bobbi Brown SPF 15 Tinted Moisturizer

Lancome Imanance

Lancome Bienfait Multi-Vital Teinte

Lancome Color Ideal

Lancome Teint Idole Ultra

L'Oreal True Match

BareMinerals


So you can see brand loyalty is one of my best qualities.

I must say that my favorites would have to be the Bobbi Brown SPF Tinted Moisturizer and the Prescriptives Traceless.

If you wanted to know.

Obviously, I am always on the prowl for new make-up.

Tell us what you like. Don't like. Want to try. Made you break out like a spotted frog. You know the drill.

February 18, 2008

QBBQ #3 (Queen B's Beauty Quest Number Three)

We are back to the process of beautification.

I'm trying to go sort of in order of how I get ready. We've done facial cleansers and hair products. Next for me would be facial lotions, potions and miracle creams.

Once again, I've tried lots of stuff. Skin care is, like, way-super-mega-high on my priority list. My Nannie is 85 and has great skin. She looks like she's in her 60s.

Seriously.

I thought I would do a little phone interview kind of thing with her to get her skin care routine.

B: Nannie, will you tell me about your skin care routine? I'm gonna blog about skin care tomorrow.

N: No.

B: Please?

N: (silence)

B: I'm assuming your silence means that I've coerced you into participating?

N: (silence)

B: Well, then. What is your history with skin care?

N: I don't know. I did nothing for a long time.

B: This is going well. When did you start using, you know, products?

N: I was in Denver in the 1970s when I was in my 50s. A lady did a makeover on me and I began using Charles of the Ritz. I used a Charles of The Ritz moisturizer until the last few years and I can't find it anymore. Now I use Lancome.

B: What products from Lancome?

N: I use Lancome moisturizer, base and powder.

B: I'm not to make-up yet. Which moisturizer?

N: I don't know.

B: Ok. What do you use to wash your face?

N: Soap.

B: Ok. Elaborate?

N: Olay.

B: Ok. Ha! That rhymed!

N: (silence)

B: Don't you use some kind of cream at night?

N: Yes.

B: I remember it from when I was little. The smell of it makes me think of you.

N: (silence)

B: What is it?

N: It's a cleansing cream from Merle Norman.

B: Yes. I remember now. How long have you used that?

N: As long as I can remember.

B: Do you use any other potions?

N: No. I don't have time for all that.

B: Well, I'm going to call back in a little bit to see what moisturizer you use. I think people would like to know because you look 25 years younger than you are, you know.

N: Pfffttt.

B: Really, you do.

N: No, I don't.

B: Yes, you do.

N: I don't do anything with my skin.

B: Well, your "nothing" seems to have worked. Did you watch the race?

N: Yes. But not the end. Who won?

B: Ryan Newman. The Alltel car.

N: He wasn't anywhere near the front when I was watching.

B: I know. He came out of nowhere.

N: That Johnson boy went straight to the back.

B: I know. A lot of the good ones dropped like flies.

N: What about Junior?

B: Ninth.

N: Hmm.

B: Ok. Well, bye.

N: Bye.

She is just the best. Skin care and NASCAR in the same conversation. I've got a pretty awesome gene pool.

So. I think that Nannie exemplifies the benefit of caring for your skin. You don't have to use 147 products from the same line, just use what works for you.

Here's my current system. I am starting with my night routine because I'm weird.

1. Wash with Bobbi Brown Lathering Tube Soap. Once or twice a week I use Dove soap instead of the tube soap. Not sure why. Just because.

2. Use my teeny tiny sample of Bobbi Brown Extra Eye Balm. This costs more than I want to spend for nighttime eye cream, or any eye cream for that matter, so when my sample runs out I'm not sure what I'll use. Open to suggestions.

3. Use my sample of Bobbi Brown Overnight Cream. Same song second verse with nighttime eye cream. But I do like this product. It has a lavender scent that makes me a little sleepy.

My morning routine goes something like this:

1. Sometimes wash with the lathering tube soap. Sometimes just splash with freezing cold water.

2. Use Bobbi Brown Hydrating Eye Cream. I avoided using it for a long time, but the lines are starting to bug.

3. Use Bobbi Brown Vitamin Enriched Face Base. Oh my word. This is the one product that I will not do without. It smells like grapefruit. Di. Vine. I have had the same jar for close to a year, so it lasts a long time. It is a must for me.

On occasion, I feel the need to use a mask or exfoliator. I am currently without either product, so I can't really recommend anything. I need suggestions.

You know how I said you don't have to use 147 products from the same line? Well. Apparently I need to follow my own advice. I seem to be pushing the Bobbi Brown line, a bit. I really do like her products, but I am not opposed to using something else. Especially if it saved me a little coin.

Now it is your turn to pass on family secrets of great skin. Or just what you like to use. Or what your friend likes to use. Or what gave you a bad rash and so you avoid it like the plague. You know, whatever.

I called Nannie back. I really want to know about that moisturizer.

N: Hello, again. (Her caller id seems to be working fine.)

B: It's me.

N: (silence)

B: Do you know what that moisturizer might be?

N: Platineum. It's kind of expensive.

B: Nan. It's knocked 25 years off of you.

N: Pffftt.

B: It's cheaper than a face lift.

N: (silence)

B: What are you watching on TV?

N: 60 minutes is on but I'm not watching it.

B: I understand.

N: Are you out of Mexican vanilla?

B: I have about 3 tablespoons left. I need some desperately. I can't make brownies without it.

N: Do you think we could find it online?

B: Maybe. I'll look.

N: Ok. I need some.

B: Ok. Me, too. I'll let you know.

N: Do they still make Charles of The Ritz?

B: I couldn't find it online. I looked for you. They had some on ebay, but that freaks me out.

N: Hmmm.

B: Well, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

N: Ok. Bye.

B: Bye.

Nan's moisturizer is pricey, but trust me. If she would let me post her picture you would understand. But she would not be happy. At all. She's not really happy that I'm posting about her in any way, shape or form. Recipes...skin care...we're getting a little too much in her business.

Well, that's all I've got. If you have a source for the Mexican vanilla, let me know. I think I might owe Nannie a bottle or two...

Oh yeah. This was about skin care. Post your products, please. Pretty please?

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