Country Living

 

Since moving to the middle of nowhere 2 years ago, I can't think of a day that I have questioned our sanity.

Until yesterday.

Well.

There was the weening of the calves (calfs?) day.  I hated country life that day. That day broke my heart.  There was constant crying for 24 hours ...

And the calves (calfs?) were not much better.

But the wonderfulness of the isolation fresh air and nature even makes the weening day a tiny blip in my memory.

Until.

Yesterday morning,  I looked out to see a truck with some sort of tank driving quite rapidly through the neighbor's pasture.

Unsure of what was happening, I stepped outside.

HUGE MISTAKE.

Apparently yesterday was the day the neighbor chose to fertilize his field.

There are no words.

Seriously.

None.

I wish you could momentarily smell what I was greeted with yesterday morning.

I've often heard of chicken litter.  And I've even smelled it from a distance.

However.

Nothing could have prepared me for this assault.

I called The King and asked what was happening.

He said he'd smelled it earlier that morning when he left the house and had been expecting my call.

I asked him what exactly comprised "chicken litter".

He informed me that it was chicken poop "and stuff" from the bottom of chicken houses.

Y'all.  It was so bad.

I did what any good mother would do, and immediately told The Princess to come outside.

She gagged.

We went back inside and locked the door.  My nose was burning.

I smelled a candle.  I stuck my face in the side of my cat.  I stuck my face in the load of freshly dried towels.

The Princess finally caught her breath and said that it smelled like the worst combination of sweaty feet and poop that she could imagine.

Can you think of a good combination of sweaty feet and poop? 

We stayed inside all day and never ventured back out.  By the time The King came home it had either gone away or I now have immunity.

Do you think the farming neighbors would find me too city-ish if I asked for a few days notice before the fertilizing begins next time?

I'D LIKE TO SCHEDULE A SMALL VACATION.

Comments

[Livin In Duckville]

Ewww! I hate that smell... I do still live in the country & occasionally end up down wind from a field that has just been 'fertilized', I don't like sprayed on poop. Gross! The first time we ever experienced that was when we were kids & a pig farm was the next road over across a HUGE expanse of field & they were 'dumping' their pond (aka the 'poop pond') and they were spraying it up a huge hose & out into the field... the wind was quite strong that day & it was blowing the spray clear to our house... needless to say ALL the clothes on the line needed to be rewashed.

I feel your pain.

Glad to 'hear' from you again. You have been missed.

[Melissab74]

Oh, how I laughed! I have lived in the country all my life, and yes, that is about the worst smell EVER! I'm 37, and you never get "used" to it! Where I live, we grow a lot of cotton, and the defoliant they spray on it runs a close second, but nothing is as bad as chicken litter!

[Melanie Harrington]

I completely understand your pain. We spent several days at my grandmother's at Thanksgiving and every field around her home had just been "treated". My poor son and nephews had to camp in the back yard for lack of space in the house. But then again they are teens and used to smelling funky!

[DawnJoy]

So sorry. That is an awful smell. Blech. Had to laugh at the "bad combo of sweaty feet and poop" yes, like there would be a good one.

[Tina Woodcock]

Urge! Living in a town I often hanker after a move to the country but I screw my nose up when we drive through the country so I am sure that I would not have coped as well as you did. Having a really sensitive nose (and the size to go with it) I can't even cope with the drain cleaning I insist is done at least once a year. Hubby and my dad deserve a medal for helping me out in that arena.

[Fashionatalie]

This cracked me up so much! Saw you were following me on Twitter and clicked over. Hi there! (waving)

[Mari Taylor]

I'd so be tempted to move. But then again, if it's once a year...Maybe you can take vacation that week :)