I truly could not take another minute of the stress. It was as if the drama of the entire 2 weeks hit me all at once.
I roamed the hospital until I found a waiting room that was being remodeled. There was a little hidey hole behind a wall that was not visible from the hall. I curled up in a chair and sobbed.
I cried and cried. And cried.
The oxygen mask...the nurse...the family stress...I'd reached my limit.
Jason began texting me asking me where I'd gone.
I ignored him.
Then he called.
I ignored him.
After he had texted 37 times, I finally replied that I was fine, I just needed some time.
He said he was going to go in every room in the hospital until I told him where I was.
I told him I was somewhere on the 4th floor and he was welcome to search.
I wish I had a copy of those texts, because now it would be really funny. (If you like reading texts between 4 year olds.)
About 15 minutes later, a very exasperated Jason appeared before me. He pretty much told me to pull myself together. He reminded me of all that I had to be thankful for.
Next, my friend, Amy discovered my secret hiding place.
Amy and her doctor husband were so incredibly helpful throughout this entire event. Whether it be answering questions or making phone calls...whatever I needed, they did it.
I think they knew that I was close to the edge and so they drove to Little Rock to help in any way that they could.
Amy and Jason calmed me down and I eventually went back to The King's room. He was flat on his back with the oxygen.
He looked at me with such concern in his eyes.
At that moment, I realized how hard it must have been for him to watch me handle this entire ordeal. He is my rock. He is brave and I am a wimp. He always handles the heavy stuff.
He suggested that I get away from the hospital for a bit and go out for dinner. Amy's sweet husband offered to stay with him and monitor the oxygen business.
I think he just wanted to watch the NCIS marathon.
Lacey, Jason, Amy, her boys, The Princess and I went for pizza. It felt so weird to be normal when nothing about our current situation was normal.
I left the restaurant feeling much more relaxed.
When we returned to the hospital, Amy's husband assured me that he was doing well and everything was as it should be. They left to put the boys to bed. I was so grateful that they were there.
Jason set up the chair/bed for me and told me to call him if I needed a break in the night. He and Lacey took The Princess and headed to the hotel.
I wrapped up in the pink Snuggie that my mother-in-law brought me earlier in the stay.
It was surprisingly warm.
It was very hard to communicate with The King. The oxygen was super loud. His face was so flushed and he felt hot. He had 2 fans going and the room temperature set in the 50s...SO THANKFUL for the Snuggie.
The oxygen was beginning to work and he said it felt as if his ears were popping in an airplane. For 6 hours, his ears popped non-stop.
Eventually, he fell asleep. I settled in the chair/bed. Just as I got comfy (totally a relative term), the chair/bed collapsed.
Like, flat on the floor.
It was broken and there was nothing that I could do to fix it.
I certainly wasn't going to call the nurse.
I sat in the broken chair and placed another chair in front of me to prop up my legs.
So not comfy.
I was freezing and exhausted. The King was frequently waking up and asking me if I could help him cool down.
About 1 a.m., I texted Jason and asked if he could come relieve me. He said he'd be there shortly.
But he never showed.
I waited and waited.
I knew they were wiped, so I assumed he'd fallen back asleep.
I sat in my pathetic bed with my rump sinking between the chairs and had another pity party.
It went on for some time.
But soon I came to this realization...I hadn't prayed all day.
I had talked to God pretty much constantly for 2 weeks and as soon as The King had a successful surgery, I stopped.
I felt so ashamed. I couldn't believe how quickly I began trying to make it on my own strength.
The majority of that night was spent in prayer. I was so thankful that Jason stood me up.
I went back to the hotel about 6 a.m. My key wouldn't work, so I texted Jason to let me in.
He opened the door and asked if I was mad at him for not coming to the hospital.
I told him that I wasn't mad, that I'd spent the night in much needed prayer.
He smiled. He told me that he'd gotten ready to come to the hospital and just as he'd grabbed the door to leave, he felt the Holy Spirit telling him not to go.
The feeling was so strong, he knew he had no choice.
He prayed for me and for The King and stayed put. His obedience allowed me to have a much needed night with my Savior.
To Be Continued...