The Queen B

Spring Break 2010-Part 16

After resting for most of the morning, we went back to the hospital to check on The King.  

He was in good spirits and remembered very little of the previous day.  He was complaining of a headache and kept mentioning that he felt a lot of pressure in his head.  

I assumed that was, you know,  a consequence of brain surgery.  But we did tell his nurse. 

We spent time watching NCIS.

Big surprise.

Speaking of NCIS...The night of surgery, Jason was in The King's room watching NCIS and he noticed The King was crying a little.  He asked The King if he was ok and The King said, "I remember laying here last night wondering if I'd ever see a television again."

When Jason first shared that with me, I was confused just a tiny bit.  THE TV GOT TEARS OF THANKSGIVING AND THE QUEEN DID NOT...?

But then I sort of got it (aka Jason told me to get over myself and may or may not have explained all this to me).  The King had been in a hospital bed (at that point) for 12 days.  At night, when everyone had gone and he was all alone, he had so many thoughts in his mind.  A lot of "...will I ever get to (insert activity) again?" The TV was just kind of a representation of all of those thoughts.  

It was in this same conversation that Jason shared something else with me. Remember how The King and I had that horrible conversation about all that I was to do if he didn't survive the surgery?  Well.  He had that same conversation with Jason.  He gave all the info to Jason in writing because he knew that I'd be wondering if I remembered it all.  

The King also wrote an email to me and one to The Princess.  Jason was supposed to give them to us if the surgery didn't go as planned.  He gave them to me during this "discussion".  Jason wanted me to understand all that The King had been thinking as he prepared for surgery.  (The King had given him the ok to show me.)  Mine was precious and The Princess' was heartbreaking and beautiful.  I haven't shown it to her yet.  I want her to receive it when she can really grasp the depth of what was shared.  

I am just so incredibly humbled and grateful to be able to share it with her while her dad is alive and healthy.  

Back to the saga...

The King's nurse came in during the afternoon and said he would be moved to a regular room.

I kind of panicked.  He had his skull cracked the day before and we're sending him to a regular room!?!

Let's just say that we went from 24/7 care to the equivalent of a nursing home in a third world country.

He arrived in the new room with an entourage of his mom and sister, the Carneys, The Princess and me.  The room was really warm and he was still feeling the headache.

He asked if we could adjust the air.  We had the thermostat on 57.  His faced was really flushed and he was uncomfortable.  We called the nurse and told her how hot he was feeling.  

She took his temperature and said, "He's fine".

I could tell he was hurting much more than he was letting on.  

We called the nurse back in and asked if she could help us get the room cooler...maybe find a fan or something.

She pretty much blew us off.

The King grabbed his cell phone and called Dr. Krisht's nurse.  He told her he was uncomfortable and hot and needed to get the room cool.

She was there in 10 minutes.  The fan arrived 5 minutes after that. 

She went out of the room and spoke with the floor nurse.  

When she returned to The King's room, she said, "I know why you are hurting.  We just got the results from this morning's MRI and you have an air bubble in your head..."

The room began spinning for me.  I really didn't think I could take more drama.  

"...In order to get the air out, you will be on 100% oxygen for 12 hours while laying flat in the bed."

I asked her if this was a normal.  She said, "While it's unusual, it's not abnormal."

Not helpful.

She got him a massive oxygen mask thing and said she'd be back the next day.

After she left, the floor nurse returned and looked at me and said, "Did you tell her I hadn't been in here and hadn't done my job?"

At this point, it was just the Carneys and The Princess and me in the room.  I was completely shocked and appalled that she would come in and ask me that question.

I told her that we'd asked her to help us get the room comfortable for the patient and that it had seemed to be a problem.

She was very rude and said something else that was hateful and left the room.

The air bubble was almost more than I could handle and the nurse attack nearly pushed me over the edge.  

I stepped out into the hall to speak with the nurse.  I asked her if her husband had ever had brain surgery.  I explained he'd had his skull opened 24 hours ago and that I didn't know what was normal or abnormal.  I told her that I was sorry if she took our request to Dr. K's nurse personally, but my husband's health and comfort was my priority.   

We had spent 13 days in various ICUs, and I didn't realize how much I'd come to rely on the 24/7 care that provided.  It gave me such confidence...knowing that he was always being monitored.  

I went back into The King's room and saw him lying flat with the oxygen mask.  

It was too much.  

I began to lose it and left the room.

To be continued...

Spring Break 2010-Part 15

Dr. Krisht and his entourage quickly put us at ease.  

He informed us that The King's surgery went well and that he felt confident the entire cyst and its root system were removed. He said that they had woken him in the OR to make sure the important stuff was functioning properly and that everything looked great.

It felt as if I took a breath for the first time in 12 days.

I was so relieved.  So grateful.  So blessed.

Our entire group joined hands and prayed and thanked Our Father for His mercy and healing.  

He was back in the 'ole ICU room in about an hour.  

I couldn't get to him fast enough!

I leaned down and asked if he was hurting...I was still freaked out that he wouldn't be able to have any pain medicine.

He turned his head toward me and whispered, "Muy poquito".

I cracked up laughing.

All I could think about was the movie trailer for Toy Story 3 where Buzz Lightyear gets "reset" to Spanish.

I had been so worried that he wouldn't remember me or be able to speak or to see!

He did have a pretty serious headache (imagine that...) and was very nauseous.  His blood pressure was higher than it needed to be, so they gave him some medication to help lower that.  He had an arterial line in his arm that measured his blood pressure with every heartbeat.  I couldn't take my eyes off of its monitor!

I really wasn't prepared for the stress of that evening.  

I don't think I'd allowed myself to think beyond surgery.  The risks in the 12-24 hours post-op were serious and I had not even considered them.

Not to mention that he was really uncomfortable and couldn't get any relief.  

I stayed in his room all night.  The nurse told me that if I stayed, I would not be allowed to sleep/eat/drink in his room.  

He had to have neurological tests done every hour.  

The nurse asked if I would keep an eye on his blood pressure and his bleeding.  

I wanted to cry PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME ANY RESPONSIBILITIES!!!  I CAN'T SLEEP OR EAT OR DRINK!!!

All night long I stared at the monitor.  At one point the important number went way higher than it was supposed to...I freaked.  I called her in and she semi-freaked. 

Alarms started going off.

I could feel that sinking feeling coming.

She gets all the lights on and found that a cord was kinked.

Really?  

After things settled back down, I was staring at the monitor some more and noticed the important number was dropping really low.

I was worried to call her again, but I did.

She came in and his blood pressure was, in fact, getting dangerously low.  She took him off of the blood pressure medication and it started to improve.

There were a few times during the night where blood randomly started pouring from his incision.  

Most of the night, he was really out of it.  Awake, but incoherent.  Or rambling while he was half asleep.

About 3 a.m., I was feeling really shaky and weak.  I went to the nearest vending machine and bought a bottle of water and a package of Grandmother's Peanut Butter Cookies. As I entered ICU, the hateful desk nurse woman told me that I'd have to leave my bottle of water at the desk.  

I quickly stuffed the cookies in my purse and set the water down and cried.

I cried all the way to his room.

He was resting and I was so worried that I would bother him.  I tried to quietly nibble my cookies (and not choke from the dry mouth) and cry.  

He woke up and looked at me and was so sweet.  It was the first time he'd been "clear" that night.  

He asked me to come over and lay my head on his chest.  I did.  And I sobbed.

I just wanted him to be ok and out of danger.  

ICU closed to visitors from 6 a.m. to 8 a.m.  I gave the nurse my cell phone number (for the 36th time) and kissed him goodbye.  It had been such a very long night.

His mom was going to sit with him at 8, so I headed to the hotel for a nap.

To be continued...

Ruining My Mojo

Y'all.

If I give you an update on The King, it kind of ruins the whole saga thing.  

But.  If you insist.

He's good.

Seriously.  He's great.  Tomorrow, we go back to Little Rock for his 6 week check up. I cannot even believe this week will mark 6 weeks since his surgery!  

I was getting ready to take his picture to show you his progress, but I became distracted by the shirt he's wearing...

Really.

And he says that is peanut butter on the back wheel.  I'm not convinced.

Here's a photo of his noggin this morning.

 

Doesn't it look great?  

If you look at him closely, his head is a shaped a bit differently than it was before.

In the mornings, he looks like a beluga whale.  During the night, the fluid in his brain comes through the part of his skull that hasn't closed yet.  It eventually drains, but it is kinda weird.

He still has a lot of restrictions...no driving, bending over, lifting anything heavier than a milk jug, climbing stairs, etc.  He's really hoping some of those restrictions are lifted tomorrow.

Thank you so much for your thoughts & prayers on his behalf.  

Now.  I'm not telling you anything else.  

Spring Break 2010-Part 14

Sorry I've been MIA for a few days.  It's The Princess' last week of school.  Enough said?

Also.  I want to be super clear about something.  I so appreciate your comments.  SO APPRECIATE THEM.  Especially when writing this type of saga, it is very encouraging to receive your sweet messages.  However.  Many have mentioned my faith.  Y'all.  My faith is so nothing to be on a pedestal.  

Serious.  

Remember this? What about this? This? And for goodness sakes THIS? If you even begin for a moment to think that my faith is extraordinary, spend a little time perusing the Keepin' It Real section.  

My faith is totally and completely ordinary.  Maybe less than.  God gave me the grace to handle the last 2 months of my life.  Just like He would do for you.  

It's nothing that I did without Him.  

Please keep that in mind while you (if you?) continue reading about our journey. 

***

As soon as the nurse told me that The King did, in fact, have a colloid cyst and would need a full craniotomy, she told me that I could spend a minute or two with him in pre-op.

The nurse pulled me aside and said that I was the only one authorized to go back with him. If I wanted to take anyone else back to see him, it was my call.  I immediately asked The Princess to go with me.  I also asked The King's mom.  

The nurse had stressed to me that we would only have a minute or two with The King. On the way to pre-op, I stressed to both of them that we had to make it quick.

His mom was able to visit with him for a few minutes, then she went back to the waiting room.  The Princess spoke with him and gave him a kiss.  I just told him how thankful I was that he'd be having the craniotomy.  I knew that was what he wanted to happen.  

We were about to head out of pre-op when a nurse came into his cubicle and said The King's surgery had been pushed back a bit, and we'd be able to stay a little longer.  

I thought about going to get a few more family members from the waiting room to come back, but The King said he just wanted to hang with The Princess and me.

We didn't talk a lot.  We just sat.

The King was a little loopy.  

It was kind of weird seeing him with out the unicorn.  

An anesthesiologist came in and talked to us.  There would be 2 anesthesiologists in the operating room with him.  There would also be another specialist (can't remember who) who would constantly be monitoring the communications from his brian to his extremities.  

It was about this time that I realized he would be on a ventilator.  I know that is typical, but I hadn't really thought about it. 

It sent me close to the edge.  

I had to immediately give it to God.  He reminded me of all that The King had survived and every detail that He had orchestrated on The King's behalf.

Soon, one of the nurses who would be in surgery came in to introduce herself.  She told me that they would let me know when they began the operation. She said they'd communicate with me every hour or so after that.  She said to only expect a message like, "things are still in progress".  

It was time to let him go to surgery.  I felt such peace.

Back in the waiting room, we gathered in a circle and prayed.  

Several people went to the cafeteria to eat after that.  I just couldn't leave until I knew they had started his surgery.  

About an hour after The King went back to the operating room, his surgery began.  

I couldn't eat after that, either.

We received an update an hour later that things were still progressing.

The time in the waiting room wasn't stressful.  It was pretty relaxed.  We talked and laughed. 

The next hour mark came and went without an update.  I kept looking at my watch...hoping that we'd hear something.

About 30 minutes later, I looked up and saw Dr. Krisht and his entourage heading straight for me.

I jumped and ran right to him, never realizing that many friends and family were looking at one another in fear.  They were certain that the only news that Dr. Krisht would be giving us, in person, after 2.5 hours of surgery would be bad.

To be continued...