Spring Break 2010-Part 13

As I was resting on the couch in the wee hours of Thursday morning, I had some serious prayer time. I spent a lot of time preparing my mind & heart for whichever surgery we would be facing.  

I knew that The King would never truly be satisfied living life restricted.  He is, if you haven't picked up on this, an adrenaline junkie.  He loves everything maxed out, on the edge & pushing the limits.  Though the parasite would supposedly be the better of the two diagnosis, I just couldn't get comfortable with it.  

God made The King to live his life to its fullest.  He wired him with the desire to get the most out of every experience.  I know that God can do anything He wants to do and it would be for the best, but in my heart...I just didn't think that was what we were facing.  

Ultimately, though, I prayed that His will would be done.  Whether the parasite or the cyst, we would be confident that God was in control.

There was another part of my little talk with God that was more difficult.  

A bit of history...Years ago, after The King and I had suffered a few miscarriages and were pregnant with The Princess, we willingly told God that though we would be thrilled and overjoyed to raise The Princess, we knew that she was His.  Those were not words uttered lightly or without serious consideration. 

The night before surgery, I felt a similar emotion.  I told God that being The King's wife is the greatest honor He could ever have afforded me upon this earth.  When we married, we completely became one.  He is truly my other half.  But...and this is where it gets tough...my love for and trust in God is greater than my love for and trust in The King.  If God would receive more glory for The King's death, then I would trust that He knew more than I knew.

I can barely type those words now.

But I meant it.  And I felt such complete peace.  

However, I knew that if God would receive more glory by The King living, then I would not ever stand in the way of what He had planned for him.

Does that make sense?

Y'all know I've had my fears.  And worries.  And fears.  This past year, God has shown me that He is bigger than anything my mind could come up with.  He's shown me that if I will put my trust in Him, the blessing is so much greater than ANYTHING I could imagine.  

If God saw fit to allow The King to survive not only this crazy tumor/parasite, but this surgery?  I knew...I KNOW...He has some amazing plans for The King's life.  I want to be The King's biggest supporter.  His greatest cheerleader.  His best friend.  I want to be with him every step of the way.  No matter what that might look like or where those steps might take us.  

One of the greatest lessons that I learned through this...most especially on this night before surgery...was that if I believe that God is in the middle of the good, then I have to believe He is also in the middle of the bad.  

You can't pick and choose when He is Lord of your life.  He is or He isn't.

We arrived at the hospital Thursday morning.  I went straight to The King's room.  His shunt had already been removed.  He was preparing to get an MRI and then head to the operating room.  

I told him that I had prayed that if it were the parasite, we would both be content living life a bit calmer.  

I think I said something about the best dang chess players in the universe.

But then I told him that if it were the cyst, we would rejoice.  We would know that God intended on him living life full throttle and I would be at his side for every stinking thrill ride he could find.

He told me he'd prayed the same thing and come to the same conclusion.  We were both totally at peace.  

I saw Dr. Krisht walking down the hall and he smiled and said they were ready to get the show on the road.

Only I don't think that's how he said it at all.  That was just my interpretation.

I gave The King a kiss and told him I'd see him soon.

The nurse told me she'd come tell me as soon as she knew which procedure they'd be doing.  

After about 30 minutes or so, she came out and knelt before me and told me that it was the cyst and they were prepping for a full craniotomy.  She had tears in her eyes.  I was thinking Woo Hoo!!  Bring it on!!  I knew that God was confirming to me that The King was not only going to live, but he was going to live big.

To be continued...

Comments

[Kristen]

Awesome. God is getting so much glory from this. This may have been a hard post to type but it was the best. I love hearing all the details about people we have been praying for and have never met. We have been praying for y'all ever since The Princess mailed out the LaP bracelets. Your family and your faith are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your heart and your life.

[Kelly @ Love Well]

Oh, I LOVE this installment, B. I love being reminded of God's blessings even - especially - in the darkness. I love hearing what you learned. I love God's unexplainable peace in the midst of the unthinkable.

Go God.

[RLR]

Your faith is A.MA.ZING.

Wow - just wow - that you would both come to the same conclusions and that, faced with the news of the more complicated procedure, you would rejoice.

Thank you - over and over again - for sharing this story that is heart-wrenching and glorifying God at the same time.

[bcsmithereens]

Girl, you've got the faith, that's for sure!

I love where you wrote the following, ('cause our life's going through it's own set of crisis'):

"One of the greatest lessons that I learned through this...most especially on this night before surgery...was that if I believe that God is in the middle of the good, then I have to believe He is also in the middle of the bad.

You can't pick and choose when He is Lord of your life. He is or He isn't."

God bless your whole family!!! (All 4 of you!)

[Tonggu Momma]

Loved this post, B. What a reminder for all of us.

[jennifer]

Have I mentioned that I love your faith? It's amazing! Inspiring! LOVE it! Thanks SO much for sharing!

[Jen Laspe]

Your faith is amazing!!!!

[Fuschia]

"I was thinking Woo Hoo!! Bring it on!!" -My smile is so big, it hurts!!

[Lindsay @ Bytes of Memory]

What an awesome moment that must have been when you realized just a small part of what God has in store for you guys!

[Lace]

Pretty sure you shouldn't have left it with the King living "big" :)

[jean]

I pray for such faith. Thank you.

[Kristin Stratos]

You have such an awesome testimony, can't wait to read the next installment. You better get your adrenaline pumping to keep up with the King!

[Capri Kel]

"You can't pick and choose when He is Lord of your life. He is or He isn't."

That's my favorite line.

[justanotherdayinparadise]

it makes perfect sense. In a somewhat unrelated comment, I just read The Good Nearby--read it! It's fiction but talks about being the good nearby, whether you change the world or just your little segment of it. I think you might be living your good nearby right now.

[rrmama]

God is so awesome!! I love that you are sharing the journey with us. Your faith is so strong. What an example you and The King are to all of us!! Blessings my friend.

[Beachy Mimi]

Even though I know all this, I still am loving reading about it. Get ready to sky-dive...I'm just sayin...

[Sara Bowyer]

praying today that everything is ok. I noticed you hadn't posted #14 and it's been a while. I have loved reading how God worked through and in this trial. Am still praying for you as your hubby and your family recovers.

[Lisa]

Ditto the above. Hope all is well and looking forward to #14.

[RLR]

Hope all is well and that you are just busy loving your family! Waiting - very patiently - to 'hear' how this ends :)

[Kelly]

So, is this the official "cliffhanger" post? Where are you Queen? Missing you & hoping everyone at the palace is well.