a warm ocean current of variable intensity that develops after late December along the coast of Ecuador and Peru and sometimes causes catastrophic weather conditions.
All I'm saying is that you are currently reading a post from El Queen B-o. (Not to be confused with El Queen B.O. That is not me.)
Let me explain this strange situation.
Growing up, my mom and I would relentlessly tease my dad about his love of winter weather. He would study the forecast and countdown to the arrival of the wintry precipitation.
But there was a problem.
The winter weather would never arrive.
The town might have had record breaking snowfall for the past 10 years, but when we became residents...zip. No snow.
This happened in multiple locations over many years.
I grew up, moved away from home and looked forward to lots of snow.
After a few years, my dad moved to our town. Though I was happy about his relocation, I began grieving the loss of my snow days.
But then I really began thinking about my snow days.
There had not been any.
I reflected upon the vacations that The King and I had taken to snowy destinations.
It never snowed.
I came to the conclusion that I am now sharing: It is me.
It has always been me.
I am not even exaggerating when I tell you that this winter alone, there have been at least 3 occasions where the impending snow event literally split just before our town and went north and south of us.
We've seen more than one radar where our town is an empty hole surrounded on all sides by snow.
A few weeks ago, the weatherman actually said, "It is as if the snow magically disappeared as it approached Northwest Arkansas".
It did. It magically disappeared.
We live in the mountains. It should snow here before it snows anywhere else in our state.
We are in the NORTHWEST CORNER, for Pete's sake.
Earlier this week, the snow - again - went south.
It is meteorologically improbable for the snow to go south 3 times in one winter.
I think I have finally figured out what caused this madness.
My dad really wanted me to get my degree in meteorology.
Like, kind of freakishly really wanted me to get my degree in meteorology.
He planned on it for years. Long before the appropriate time to be planning your child's education, Dad was mapping my career path.
He bought me textbooks and sent for applications to schools that offered the degree. He studied the weather girls and gave me lists of their pros and cons.
He desperately wanted me to have big hair, shoulder pads and a dress with a peplum.
I opted out.
If only I could have known the price my family and I would pay.
I offended The Weather.
Perhaps I should offer myself as a weather tool. Imagine the impact I might have on areas with blizzard conditions.
Maybe I am closely related to Punxsutawney Phil...I could be used for weather forecasting.
Or maybe I should just go back to school for my stinking meteorology degree.
I guess I could write a local almanac to let the people know that it is going to be a dry winter.
I apologize to any of you that live in this region and enjoy the snow. Unless I move, you might as well kiss it goodbye.