Oh The Things I Never Knew

Being the mom of a girl certainly has its share of drama.

The ups. The downs. The tears. The sass. The stomping.

Oh the stomping.

I've always assumed being the mom of a boy is much easier.

(The exceptions being broken bones, more laundry and gross smells.)

Well. I ran errands with my 6 year old nephew, JJ, for a few hours today.

Just me and him.

Running errands.

Errands that The Princess and I run weekly.

And quickly.

This is how it went down...

We got into the car.

And he was starving and thirsty.

I have to remind The Princess to eat. Not that she doesn't eat--she only eats when she's hungry. (I know. Crazy girl.)

Well, apparently JJ was hungry 30 minutes after lunch.

We got a snack and a grape slush and headed to the Post Office.

Car conversation:

JJ: "Aunt B?" (This is literally how my nephews refer to me.) "Do you think I'm really big?"

Aunt B: "You know, JJ, I was just thinking about how big you are getting."

JJ: "I could probably really beat up The Princess."

Well then.

We arrived at the Post Office. I never knew the Post Office has so many buttons. And levers. And swinging doors. And machines. And a fire extinguisher. And a corner perfect for a somersault.

I know that now.

Off to Target.

Car conversation:

JJ: "Aunt B? Do people ever just call you plain B?"

Aunt B: "Yes, JJ. Some people just call me plain B."

JJ: "I think I am going to call you Aunt B sometimes and just plain B sometimes."

Well then.

We arrived at Target.

JJ: "Aunt B? There are a few things I've been needing at Target."

Sucker Aunt B: "Like what, JJ?"

JJ: "Well. A card for my mama and a new Nintendo game."

We headed to the cards. I was picking a get well card for poor Amy. So JJ found a get well card for poor Amy, too. And a get well card for his (healthy) mom.

We then made our way to the video games. And if any of you happen to live in Arkansas and were almost plowed down by a 6 year old pushing a cart with his wacky Aunt B running behind him, well, it wasn't us.

JJ picked a video game. I don't know what it was. It was rated E for Everyone.

JJ then had to go to the bathroom. And he was not going to be able to hold it. So we made our way to the family bathroom by the pharmacy. And it was locked.

Again, if any of you were in Target in Arkansas yesterday and were incessantly harassed by the shaking of the bathroom door while you were doing your business, I can't imagine who that might have been.

JJ went in the bathroom. And then he came out and said, "Aunt B? I pushed that button on the wall. I'm not sure what it is for."

If any of you happen to work at Target in Arkansas and were unnecessarily called to clean up a clean bathroom yesterday...I feel for you. Some people are so rude.

So we went to get some paper towels. Which unfortunately happen to be right across from the toys.

JJ: "Aunt B? I really need this Star Wars town thing."

Aunt B (gaining strength): "No, JJ. We aren't getting the Star Wars city."

JJ: "Ok. But I need it."

I held my ground.

But then he needed some milk. Chocolate milk, to be exact.

So he picked some strawberry milk and put it in the basket.

I thought it was probably a good time to head to the check out.

JJ looked at the cashier's name on his tag.

JJ: "So is your name really Jeff?"

Not very friendly Jeff: "Yes."

JJ: "I like that name. Do you like working at Target?"

Less friendly Jeff: "Sure."

I swiped my credit card and began to sign my name.

JJ: "Aunt B? Are you writing in cursive?"

Aunt B: "Yes, JJ. You will learn cursive really soon."

JJ: "Jeff! Aunt B can write in cursive!"

Pretty close to hateful Jeff: "Great."

We got back into the car.

My car has a push button ignition and no key. Which still freaks me out just a little bit. JJ had not seen it before.

JJ: "Aunt B?"

Aunt B: "Yes, JJ?"

JJ: "Does your car just start with the push of a button?"

Aunt B: "Yes."

JJ: "Well then I can drive your car!"

Well then.

JJ and I headed back to the house.

JJ: "Aunt B? Can I live with you?"

Aunt B: "Oh, JJ. Your mom would miss you so much."

JJ: "But I got her a card."

JJ went back to his mom. I collapsed onto the couch and said a prayer of thanksgiving for the silence.

And smiled as I thought of our day.

Comments

[franticallysimple]

As another mother of an only child, a girl, I wonder...what were you thinking to go out alone with a man-child? I hope you bought Tylenol. :)

[Vicky]

"Jeff! Aunt B can write in cursive!" That was my favorite part. I can only imagine what was going through Jeff's head...

I'm so proud of you for knowing cursive. :)

[Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy]

Yep, that sounds like my day only with 'Mommy' instead of 'Aunt B.' Sometimes it's exhausting, others funny. Today was the former! ;^)

[MegnTally@Lonesome Pine]

Maybe I shouldn't have read this at 4am when the rest of the house is trying to sleep...this was laugh out loud funny!

I'm with 'frantically' up there. Having an only girl-child, it's hard to imagine anything else!

I woke up restless...now I can lay my weary head back down with a smile.

[Straight Shooter]

Oh my word!
I am tuckered out just reading about your day. Which, btw, was stinkin' hilarious!
And yes, absolutely, they are two different species - Girlies and Man Cubs.
I wrote about my future Man-Cub today too.
Have a fab-u-lous day Queenie.

[GrnMtnGirl]

Thank God for little girls :)

Such a cute post!

[Kellyn]

I love having a girl, and a boy. I get it from all the angles. This sounds just like a conversation me and Hunter had long ago. Love it!

[Rachel]

Throw in about 3 more “I’m hungry” sprinkled through out that day and you pretty much have exactly what each and every day is like with my 5-year-old boy. It is exhausting, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. :)

[The Roost]

That is the laugh I needed today! Thanks for that hilarious post:)

[Jeni]

That sounds SO much like days spent with my 6 year old nephew! Except that I never would've bought him the video game because I'm mean like that. :-)

[Diane]

That was hysterical. I loved it. Well done, Aunt B. Well done.

[Bella]

I so miss those days...with 4 boys..it was a constant barrage of off-the-wall comments, so much so I started writing things down so when hubby got home he could share too....but....NOW I have overgrown teens and 20 somethings....they still talk...but about real important stuff....

[Lawanda]

I am roflol right now. I have a little boy cousin who is pretty similar to JJ. I have said many a time after having spent time with said little boy cousin: I am thinking I like having girls. ;)

[tracey]

Great post!!! Boys do ask more questions! I love riding home from work after a day of 5 million questions with my 5th graders.

[Heather]

I have one girl. And two boys. My two boys are 14 times harder than my girl was. Well, she is fifteen and so now there is a new set of very different problems (boyfriend, cattiness of the percussion section, ect)

The boys will always be harder.

Sounds like a very sweet, but-oh-so-tiring day.

[Alicia]

HAHAHA! That's too funny! I feel your pain, except not about the boy thing. But about the endless talking and questions thing. From my 5-year-old daughter. I've tried bribing her but apparently the kid has no interest in money.

[Lisa@take90west]

It is true, boys Never.Stop.Talking. You are pretty cool, Aunt B.

[Robin ~ PENSIEVE]

Well, then.

(love it...glad you entered my BG so I'd TAKE TIME to visit you today! ALWAYS love my visits here...especially when they take this kind of turn!)

:)

p.s. I have TWO boys to go with my one girl. These things of which you speak? I know all!too!well!

[pokeyann]

Yup...girls=emotional, boys=active. They may splash in the others puddle occasionally, but basically that's it.

[Wendi]

As a mother of two boys and one girl...
I must tell you.
I will take my active little reptile chasing boys any day over the drama,sass and eye rolling girl.
Sorry...I disagree.
Boys are MUCH easier.
In my house any way.

[chilihead]

Oooohhhhh yeah. Except reverse for me: Son is quiet and easy, daughter never.stops.talking.ever. If she thinks it, it must come out of her mouth or she cannot process it. Wow.

[misty]

oh my goodness. This was the funniest thing...
well then...
I LOVED this post!

[Mommie Daze]

Oh, yeah. Boys are way different from girls. Sound just like things around my house.

[Peggy]

"Again, if any of you were in Target in Arkansas yesterday and were incessantly harassed by the shaking of the bathroom door while you were doing your business, I can't imagine who that might have been."

How funny! You made my afternoon much better.

[Soliloquy]

I maintain that boys are harder than girls when they're little - but you just wait until the Princess is a tween/ teen....

You'll reconsider. I promise.