If Only We Could Have Added GCS

So we got all the luggage packed into the new car.

The new car with the small, small trunk.

Which I would illustrate with a funny picture of everything crammed into the above-mentioned trunk except I no longer have a camera.

I must digress from my GCS story to the camera story for just a second.

If you read QM's blog, you are aware of the near-death parasailing adventure. She so didn't accurately describe the amount of actual near-death.

Lots and lots of actual near-death.

As a last hoorah for the vacation, QM offered to send The Princess back into the sky. The Princess said she would go only if QM joined her.

After I got off the ground from laughter, QM looked at me and said, "She gets her evil from you."

To which I responded, "Well where do you think I got it?"

Genetics. It rocks.

So in a very un-QM-like move, QM opted in.

We walked down to the parasailing booth and the owner was working. He kind of reminded me of a pimp.

Not that I know any pimps.

But if I did know a pimp, I would think he would be a lot like this man.

The Pimp tried to double our fee, but when we told him that we'd done it on Tuesday and it was half as much we'll not be going thank you so much, he remembered that it was, in fact, only half as much.

Bless his forgetful pimpin' heart.

He said there were 6 people in front of us and asked us to come back in an hour.

When we came back, we were joined by a couple who had also purchased the parasailing adventure of a lifetime.

We all stood in the water waiting for the boat. The Pimp said we were going to have to go to the boat. It was (according to The King) 100 yards out. The Pimp said we would be able to touch except for just a minute where we would swim to the next place where we could touch.

Now, a brighter girl might have noticed that all of the other parasailing boats were nowhere to be seen.

We all begin our trek out to the boat. We could touch for about 20 yards. Then, nothing. No sea floor. The Princess is a great swimmer, but, it is the ocean. I was a teensy bit freaked. We swam for about 20 yards and then the massive waves started coming at us.

It was about that time when I had no recollection of whether or not QM could swim.

The King and The Princess and the couple were closer to the boat. I was staying back with QM. As we approached the boat the waves got even bigger and the boat was rocking all over the place. All I could see was that The Princess was in the perfect spot for the boat to come right down on her. So while we are all in various stages of trying to get to the boat, trying to get on the boat and trying not to drown, the teenage captains are yelling, "Be careful where you put your hands on the ladder! If your hand gets in a hinge, it will cut your finger off!!!"

Well great.

The couple got onto the boat. The Princess got onto the boat. QM got to the ladder and became stuck. She was not able to go up or down. She was not moving. I think that I must have climbed over her. Then I heard The King yell, "QM, I am going to stick my hand on your butt so get ready!"

And he pretty much shoved her up and in to the boat.

So the couple gets dressed for the adventure. And the dude says something briefly about being scared of heights.

Well great.

So they go up and do their thing and then on the way down...hurling. Lots and lots of hurling.

The Princess and QM fortunately get to fly into the sky. The King and I had to endure 15 minutes of the hurling.

Oh, the hurling.

Anyway. Finally, my peeps landed and we headed back to the shore.

Oh, wait. Not the shore. 100 yards out from the shore.

And for the sake of time, I am totally leaving out the horrors of the jarring and bumpy ride back to the 100 yards from shore.

The teenage captains told us the best thing for us to do would be to jump off of the side of the boat.

Now might be a little late in the story for me to tell you that we were not afforded the luxury of life jackets during any part of this adventure.

I flailed into the ocean. The Princess flailed. QM and The King flailed. The hurlers flailed.

You think I was gonna swim behind him?

It was horrible and difficult swimming back to shore. I tried to carry The Princess, who was (for the first time on this whole vacation) terrified. It is hard to swim and carry and be waylaid by the waves.

But we did it. We made it. No more parasailing.

Oh yeah. The camera. That is where I was going, wasn't it?

We had my camera in a ziploc and it was drenched and ruined.

Not happy.

But I suppose we had to choose the camera or the not drowning and we went with the not drowning.

Ok. So back to my original posting topic.

The new car has a GPS. So we plugged in our address and looked it over and it looked right and so, after a trip to Sonic, we were off.

The Princess was heavily involved with Silver Spoons and The King and I were having great conversation.

Part of that conversation went like this...

B: I don't remember seeing that outlet mall on the way down.
King: Me either.

More great conversation. And then listening to the NASCAR All-Star race on the radio.

Another part went like this:

King: We are only 40 miles from New Orleans?
B: Not possible. We are going north.

Back to the racing.

Finally, I looked out at the window and realized that we were in Gulfport, MS.

We were supposed to be in Hattiesburg.

If that means nothing to you, then look here.

Miss GPS was just sending us about 7 hours out of the way and we were going along with it.

Perhaps I should have noticed that we never hit the ridiculously long 4 lane highway.

Or that the compass thing said southwest instead of northwest.

Could somebody please package Good Common Sense and put it in the dash?

I think a GCS could do me way more good than the stinkin' GPS...

Updated to Add: When Miss GPS implored us to take EACH and EVERY exit ramp in Arkansas only to get right back on the interstate...we didn't. We did not listen to Miss GPS.

We used our Good Common Sense and stayed on the interstate.

Comments

[karen]

Would I be correct in assuming that miss GPS is now dead and buried and will never live again? Glad you made it home okay. Perhaps next year you might go to the mountains. They don't parasail there.

[Howdy]

Your right, the QM didn't convey quite the same story... LOL
You didn't say just what variety of hybrid you got?? As far as the GPS goes... I LOVE my friend GyPSy (a TomTom-720) and couldn't have survived this move to a new area nor our hunt for a new house in the next county - Love her, Love her, LOVE her! I'm thinking you might need to check out the settings/preferences on your GPS - she might have been trying to get you off the highway (?tolls) because of the settings.
Glad to see you did make it home!

[Kellyn]

I don't like GPS, so I feel your pain on this one. I have never gotten the bug for it.

Silver spoons...young Ricky Schroeder...

[Sandy]

I could use some GCS in my dash too. Lord, have mercy. You all certainly do know how to vacation.

[Jen]

Well God bless you all. What a trip. I somehow do not feel the need to ever parasail, no matter how tempting.

My mother and dad just came to my house via a Garmin, and they had to disagree with it about a shortcut I knew but apparently it didn't.

[Queen Mother]

So....GPS is dead to you now? I'm glad you made it home. If we had to totally depend on the GPS we would be somewhere different than here. We're using TomTom for going home.....which we won't be doing for TWO MORE WEEKS sorry I lost myself there for a moment.

[Robyn]

Oh, that's like when we were traveling to Gulf Shores with my in-laws. They were in the lead, because they had the GPS and we were in the car behind them. As we were traveling down the road AT 70 MPH, my father-in-law proceeded to slam on his brakes in the middle of the highway, throwing all sorts of luggage, snacks, toys, etc. into the floor of the car and scaring us to death, because the GPS said turn left. There was no road left. There was ocean left. Sand and ocean. But all common sense left the car when the GPS was turned on.
We have a GPS. Actually, we have 2 of them - one for each car. I only use mine if I truly don't know where I'm going. My husband will program the grocery store in it. It has caused him to make several wrong turns, too. On a route he travels daily. Makes no sense.

[Karen (Simply A Musing Blog)]

I'm think I'm just getting too old for adventure...that sounds positively SCARY. Glad y'all made it out okay - Hattiesburg, Gulfport? What's a few hours?

[Kelly @ Love Well]

Personally, I think its fun to mess with the GPS. The faux-supportive tone she uses as she tries to redirect me to her preferred route makes me giggle.

But I'm evil like that.

[Christie]

I am freaking out right now. Can't get past the horror of the parasailing experience to commiserate with you on the GPS fiasco.

You did make it home eventually , right?

[Such The Spot]

Well now if that parasailing adventure wasn't the perfect ending to the perfect vacation then I don't know what is.

Yikes.

Perhaps a vacation from your vacation is in order?

[Heather @ Loving Our Homeschool]

I am so very sorry to hear about your camera!! And the hurler, ugh. I was completely grossed out by HIM after reading the QM's blog.

We use mapquest and paper maps. And sometimes have to drive in circles to get the compass (that shows up digitally) in the van to get back to working correctly. LOL I think we'll stick with those tricks for a while along with the GCS. :)

[The (Almost) Amazing Mammarino]

So sorry about your camera! I know, not drowning is better, but still . . .

I can't believe they didn't give you lifejackets!

[Kelly]

Perhaps we leave our common sense on vacations, too. Seriously. I, too, have put my life in the hands of (often non-English speaking) teenage boys on vacations in the past. I almost always come away from the experience glad to be alive & wondering... "What in the hell was I thinking?!?!?" Like my 82-year old father is still fond of saying, "Anything fun is dangerous." Glad you all made it back alive!

[jean]

I read your mom's post and are you sure she was with you? Cause her story seemed so mild, funny and there was less hurling. I'm glad you finally made it home.

[Drama Mama]

I was readin and I was like how in the heck did she end up in Gulfport? That's not right!
I'm gonna leave that parasailing up to someone else- not my thing at all! Now I know why!

[Kristin]

I wondered what 80's sitcom was chosen - love Silver Spoons, great choice.

I used to rent two wheeled scooters to vacationers in Daytona Beach. Not even I would ride one of those death traps - but a lot of people rented them. We didn't lose a single customer, but they certainly tried.

My sister went parasailing - she had a wonderful time. I barely made it off the boat in one piece. I can relate to your parasailing adventure.

Oh goodness, I'm so thankful you are home. I always seem to love my home so much more those first few days back from vacation. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that...lol

Kristin

[Wendi]

Just please tell me you are all safely back home.
What a vacation you have had.
I am not sure I would ever want to go on another one.
Sorry I told you parasailing was so much fun.
My experience was very different than yours.
They sent cute guys to the shore on wave runners to pick us up and take us to the boat.
No flailing.
No hurling.
No need for a GPS.
Go shopping tomorrow...that should help!

[Bahama Mama]

I think I would have died on either of the swimming parts. Just because I live on the ocean doesn't mean I'm brave about it. We once used a friend's GPS when we were staying with them to go out to dinner about 15 minutes from their house. To go home we punch in the memorized route named "home" only to realize afer about 45 minutes that it was their home in DC (not the one in Georgia where we were staying). Needless to say we were very, very lost.

[New Diva]

Holy parasailing nightmare, Batman! Props to QM, although I'm sure she was regretting her "yes" every step of the way. Glad everyone is o.k.!